It's no secret that I honestly can't tell who I fell in love with 1st, 
The subject of having children in this day and age is often a heated debate, and I must admit I am split in two halves when it comes to my feelings on the matter. Logically, I have already had my own biological child. I know how much they cost mentally, financially and on so many other levels that cannot be measured. It is the most rewarding but also the hardest job on the planet - to be a parent.
Birth was awful, and without medical aid, there is no way I'd risk giving birth at a government facility. I mean, they've looked after my knee as best they can, but the business of having babies is another story. Matthew was a high-risk birth that ended in an emergency cesarean that almost cost us both our lives. I'm grateful for the private healthcare I had at the time. I can't imagine what that would have been like in a government institution, in a country where obstetric violence is rife and on the rise.
The other side of the coin is that annoying built-in biological clock that, as I get older, is getting more and more demanding about wanting to have another baby. While the birth didn't go as planned, the pregnancy was something I will never truly be able to explain to anyone, and it was quite possibly the most beautiful and euphoric experience I have ever had. I would spend hours trying to figure out what part of him I was touching as I rubbed my belly and I remember how excited I got as he responded to my touch while he was growing in my belly. The idea that I don't get to do that again is tough to reconcile.
However, I did meet Zak. And Zak came as a package deal with two beautiful Children, 
Aime and I bonded from the word go, and we have only grown closer, through all our ups and downs. She is the daughter I had always prayed for, but was also terrified of as I thought karma would come to get me if I had a girl. She has turned out to be nothing I planned, but everything I dreamed.
She is powerful, brave, intelligent, driven, kind, generous, thoughtful and completely her own person. I am so grateful that we both feel that we can truly be ourselves around each other. Sometimes I honestly have to pinch myself and remember she isn't biologically mine... but she calls me mom. And that means everything.
Aime turned 16 on the 27th and I decided it was time for me to take what was most precious to me and brought me great comfort in times of trouble and pass it on to her.
Although I haven't practiced for years, I somehow kept all 78 cards of my Rider Waite Tarot card pack and after a cleansing ceremony conducted by myself and one by Aime, I have gifted them to her, along with a moonstone, given to me by my mother, to protect her and help her find balance as she explores the world of magick and divination.
It brought me so much joy to see the excitement on her face. I remember receiving those cards as a present on my 13th birthday as a small group of us started our own coven. I remember spending hours and hours getting to know the cards and realizing that they aren't just a cheap trick for fortune telling, but a tool for introspection and self-discovery. They help us to see all sides of ourselves and others, even if it's not always what we want to see or hear.
The lessons I learned were invaluable and I hope Aime carries them with her on her own unique spiritual journey.
Happy Birthday my precious girl <3 I love you. May you spread the love, peace and healing that you have in your heart and in your own way, help to make the world a better place. Never doubt your own magick.
