I haven't taken it off... save for a bath. But I am even sleeping with it on now. But what is the history behind this ring and why is it so meaningful that it's been passed on to me?
This ring was never meant for me. And in fact, it seems this ring chooses it's owner, despite tradition. It seems to have a mind of it's own.
When I was a little girl, I remember my mother telling us stories of how my father announced their engagement to his family. At the time, my mom and dad were carefree hippies and I don't really think an engagement ring had even factored into their plans.
In fact, when my mom did marry my father, they did so in a very non-traditional ceremony. My mother wore a very plain dress, almost like a summer dress, and just spent the day dancing barefoot in the grass with her new husband and her friends and family. I'd love to visit the venue one day... I believe it is still operational as a wedding venue, here in Cape Town, just passed Paarl.
But returning to the story of the ring, my great-grandmother would not have it, and although it was bequeathed to my grandmother, she made the decision to give it to my mother.
I believe there were some unpleasantries surrounding this, but I don't know the whole story.
I do remember us growing up with very little. In fact, far too little. My mother faced terrible abuse at the hands of my father, and later on, my sister too.
I remember her walking home at night, humble parcels of food in her hands that had almost cut down to the bone because it was so cold and the packets were so heavy. I remember crying sometimes and warming her hands in my own.
My father did not contribute financially to our care, basically from when I was born. Although I have very few childhood memories of us as a family, the ones that are good I hold onto as tightly as I can because the rest was a nightmare.
My mother eventually divorced my father when I was nine years old and took on ALL of his financial debt when he left. This left us devastated as a family. My mother did her best to honor exorbitant repayments of my father's loans, while dealing with moving my sister from school to school as she battled through private school after private school.
When my sister turned 18 she moved in with her soon to be 1st husband, who became my brother and my very best friend. He took on the role of loving responsibility as a positive male influence in my life. Although we lost contact after their relationship ended, we have reunited, which brings me great joy.
I was 15 when my mother eventually moved to the UK. During this time, she managed to pay off everything and start life over for herself again, even earning a degree in English literature.
I just so strongly remember that through all the hardships, she hung on to this ring to pass on when the time was right. She could have sold it, to relieve financial pressure for us, but her sheer determination and pride would not let her. She also knew our inheritance would be small if anything at all. There was no money or property lying in wait for us or her.
This ring was never meant for me. I was supposed to inherit my maternal grandmother's ring which was lost just after the pandemic. My father's death brought so many awful emotions to the fore but also made us realize how short life is and how we need to love those around us as much as possible.
My mother bequeathed this beautiful ring to me the night before she flew back to the UK. In that gesture, a seemingly small act over something so tiny had enormous healing power for me. I feel constantly connected to my mother and my father's side of the family. I know what she went through to keep it safe...and I am so grateful it found its way to me <3