If there is ever a second chance at rewriting a few things in this life, I know exactly what they would be. First it's going to be my relationship. I wished I never took the bare minimum as princess treatment. I wish I never stayed in situations that weren't clear. Hoping that one day my partner will change, doing everything to prove to someone who doesn't care that I am a better option, like he would tag it. Telling myself that patience is a virtue. If I go back, I will demand clarity early; I won't overlook some not harmful but very dangerous red flags. I will choose people who choose me openly, not halfway.
Another thing I am going to change is always allowing myself to be guilt-tripped or gaslighted . He made me believe I was the problem. I kept apologizing for things I didn't do. I kept questioning myself worthy. Low self-esteem almost crept in because he made me feel like nothing I did was ever right. I wish I trusted myself more or even listened to my voice that I was more than enough. If I get that chance again, I will rather walk away than allow anyone to manipulate me instead of enduring it.
Then there is a dream I let go out of fear and lack of funds, which is medicine. Becoming a doctor is something I held close to my heart, but money stood in the way, and I gave up quickly. I don't know that there are other paths or support or even options. I accepted my dream was too expensive for me. Until this day I do wonder what my life would have turned out as if I had pursued my dream to become a medical doctor.
If life were to give me a second chance, I would love differently, trust myself more, and pursue my dreams boldly. I can’t change the past, but I have learned from it. And maybe the real second chance is the person I am becoming now, someone wiser, stronger, and more intentional than before.
Image is mine
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