The more I want to obey,
The more it gets harder.
I want to continue,
But the struggle everyday is new.
Should I falter?
I want to finish this cycle,
Get rest that's unending,
Give up and stop pretending.
I am strong
(No, I am not)
I can handle this alone
(Please help me)
Words left unsaid,
Feelings unexpressed,
Voice not heard,
Life full of regrets.
If today is my last Birthday, how will I celebrate it?
A question I am pondering on since last night. I started this blog with a poem about regrets because I want to remind myself that death is certain, and I don't want to regret things that I should've done before it come.
I am one of those people who are not afraid to die. I am more excited to end this life in this problematic world. Woah wait, as I always say, I am not depressed nor suicidal. I do have a lot of anxieties but I already know where I will go after I die so regardless of when death will come, I'll gladly welcome it. Some may think I am too self proclaimed righteous for thinking I will not go to hell, but allow me to say that the Bible tells us how to prepare our spirit, we have the opportunity to choose heaven. I can share verses to support this, I don't want to be in a debate because that's not how the Words of God must be shared. I can give youtube links of Bible Seminar to those who are seeking, it's only 5 sessions and if you'll listen with open heart, you'll understand.
Good works, religion, baptism, and other traditions are not the way.
Going back to the main topic, since I am not afraid to die, if this is my last Birthday I will still celebrate with all my love ones and with people who wants to hear Words of God. I will gladly conduct a Bible Seminar (I will not preach, but just be the organizer). I will invite all people, if I have money and riches I will use it to fund the seminar until I die. Sharing the gospel to a lot of people, near or far, a family or not, friend or enemy.
Celebrating my impending death in this way is what I truly want because I don't want to regret things when I die. Regretting my life thinking I should've share more, open my mouth for the Gospel much often than I did. I don't want to keep thinking what ifs and delay things. Time is running and we don't know when it will stop. It's either I die or Jesus come again in this world- either way I don't want to regret but rather celebrate.
