Maybe I'm speaking too soon, but I think I'm finally getting better at not caring when people take credit for my work, leave me out, project on me , etc.
Haters gonna hate.
In fact i see a pattern where whenever I do something creatively great, there's a response from those who are still attached to their old understanding of who I am, and like crabs in the bucket they pull me back into THEIR comfort zone.
Escape, little crab, escape!!!
Back to the open sea of creative possibility, of evolution, of shedding old forms and emerging anew.
Here's to the selkies like me who get their skin back, to the brave souls that stand there shaking, sweating, exausted and scared, and still sing, still produce, still dance with the muse.
Insecure people compare themselves to others constantly because their ego is insecure. They often end up miserable.
Cuz who cares if someone can do something you cant? You can do you better than anyone! FOCUS ON THAT!!!
What do YOU desire? What are YOU creating?
Breathing back to your own heart and locating your wholeness breaks those spells of comparison and jealousy.
For real though, as a creative I've found myself in the following traps :
- Why didn't they include me/credit me
- They copied me.
- I forgot to give someone else credit and now they're mad.
- Others are jealous of me and attempt to put me down/silence me out of their own insecurities.
- People don't genuinely like me, they just wanna use me for connections/resources/creative inspiration.
- Because they're friends with so and so, I don't wanna participate.
- Because they're not friends with so and so, theyre not invited.
All of these stories serve to keep us seperate and weakened.
This past year was one of the hardest in my entire life. I was suicidal living in domestic violence and suffering daily panic attacks.
But know how I survived through?
Music. Art. Plant Medicine. Nature. Hip Hop.
For real.
And now that I see how important it is that i continue to empower myself through music, art, event coordination, dreamwork, and the transmission of the mysteries, it's literally my life on the line if I don't go all the way.
So I don't care about the petty hang ups.
If I tried to control all the feelings of all the people I have beef and drama with in the art scene in portland hahaha it's a fool's errand.
Everyon'es not for everyone.
You wanna copy me and not give me credit? Cool. I'm flattered. I'm already onto the next thing.
You wanna project your insecurity, envy and jealousy on me instead of doing the work to evolve and create yourself?
Okay.
I can't control that. But yo. If I can do it, you can do it.
I'm over staying small out of fear of making someone else uncomforatble. ANd I'm over being so big and controlling and such a know it all that I can't be generous with my heart and gracious when there's triflin'.
I don't have to be a boss. I don't wanna be in the lead or do big epic things. I just wanna chill and make my art and attract what I attract.
There's just no time for all that drama. We're all on one big Earth team. We're too busy participating in the renaissance.
For real tho.
Spanish:
Tal vez me esté precipitando, pero creo que por fin estoy mejorando y no me importa que la gente se lleve el mérito de mi trabajo, me deje de lado, me haga un proyecto, etcétera.
Los que odian van a odiar.
De hecho, veo un patrón en el que cada vez que hago algo creativamente grande, hay una respuesta de aquellos que todavía están apegados a su vieja comprensión de lo que soy, y como cangrejos en el cubo me tiran de nuevo en SU zona de confort.
Escapa, pequeño cangrejo, ¡¡¡escapa!!!
De vuelta al mar abierto de la posibilidad creativa, de la evolución, de despojarse de las viejas formas y emerger de nuevo.
Brindo por las selkies como yo que recuperan su piel, por las almas valientes que están ahí temblando, sudando, exaustas y asustadas, y siguen cantando, siguen produciendo, siguen bailando con la musa.
Las personas inseguras se comparan constantemente con los demás porque su ego es inseguro. A menudo acaban siendo desgraciados.
Porque, ¿a quién le importa si alguien puede hacer algo que tú no puedes? Tú puedes hacerlo mejor que nadie. ¡CÉNTRATE EN ESO!
¿Qué deseas TÚ? ¿Qué estás creando?
Respirar de vuelta a tu propio corazón y localizar tu totalidad rompe esos hechizos de comparación y envidia.
Sin embargo, como creativa me he encontrado en las siguientes trampas:
- ¿Por qué no me incluyeron o no me dieron crédito?
- Me copiaron
- Olvidé dar crédito a otra persona y ahora está enfadada.
- Otros me tienen envidia e intentan menospreciarme/silenciarme por sus propias inseguridades.
- A la gente no le gusto de verdad, sólo quieren usarme para conexiones/recursos/crear
Traducción realizada con la versión gratuita del traductor www.DeepL.com/Translator
Photo credit: Ebony Heartwood
Rainbow Bridge Gathering
Woodenbridge, Kalama, WA