A survivor who wishes to remain anonymous wrote about a bad moment in her life.
My husband left for Singapore just 10 days after our marriage. Since we did not have our own arranged home, and the house was dilapidated and it would mean living alone, he left me at my parental home.
During the wedding, he gave nothing, and did not even properly shop for groceries. With the four-anna jewelry given by my mother, my mother-in-law added only one anna of jewelry, but later he took that away too. When my husband went abroad and received his salary, even though he sent the money home, he did not give it to me. For two months, I saw how much money he received, but he did not talk about it at all. Later, when I asked him about the money, he did not want to give it. Even when I was ill, he was not willing to give money. After pleading many times, he finally gave the money. This happens every month. Before giving money, I have to say a lot to him. He does not want to give, but instead says irrelevant things.
This is why I told him, "If you cannot take responsibility, then why did you get married?" Now he is spreading this statement to his relatives and my relatives. However, it is not that he does not have money. He shops for almost 40 thousand taka every month for himself. Every month, he buys lotion, shower gel, shampoo, and snow for himself.
Now a person is coming, so I asked him to buy a lotion and a cream for me. He had finished buying the things for his own use. Even today, I told him again, and he said he cannot buy and give. After saying this, his comments were very objectionable. "If you want to take something from me, you have to win my mind, you have to entertain me, then if I feel like it, I will buy. And if I do not feel like it, I will not buy. It will entirely depend on my whim."
A few days ago, our wedding anniversary passed. I had asked him for a zero-size diamond nose pin. He told me that he would not give me any expenses for three months, and save that money to buy the nose pin. In my family, there are two sisters, and our father is no more, mother does one job. I myself used to tutor students and study honors, but after marriage, he does not let me tutor students. Students would come home to study, yet he is not agreeable. He does not let me do any work or job, not even go out of the house. Even if I want to go to the doctor, he says that I am lying to go outside.
Today he said, "A relationship that has to be maintained with money is better not maintained." This statement has hurt me a lot. I have vowed that from today, I will not take even one taka from him. Sisters and brothers, in this situation, what should I do, please give me advice.
Sent by
A sister unwilling to disclose name publicly