It just suddenly popped into my newsfeed one day, a woman encouraging others to adapt with the 4b movement that started in South Korea around 2019, which was triggered by the book "Kim Jiyoung", a South Korean author.
The core beliefs of this movement are four "no '' to: sex, childbirth, dating (heterosexual), and marriage, which iin Korean are bihon, bichulsan, biyeonae, and bisekseu. Initially, it had started in Korea and later morphed internationally, appreciated by the women of other countries and cultures.
Now, you may think, this is rather a very stubborn idea of "boycotting men", but no, not a personal attack to men, rather a message to our opposite gender, likely applicable for a heterosexual bonding of marriage, dating.
To put it simply, the message is not about "We hate men" but rather, "Dear men, get your shit together, or I am done being with you" now that we can achieve our own financial, social, personal, and emotional independence by ourselves.
Let's talk about the condition and circumstantial issues of our country regarding misogyny, patriarchy, feminism, sexism etc of my country, Bangladesh.
Before that, I must mention this is an extremely conservative and traditionalistic country when it comes to what women wear, how they act, what they say or do... more or less everything about a woman is concern of anyone’s except the women themselves.
Now...I have never talked much about FEMINISM, because most of us women, I have seen, are not very well-read regarding the term and its objectives. And then there is this PATRIARCHAL SUPREMACY of our men, who have been actively making every effort to antagonize the empowered women fighting for equality, equity, and rights.
How?
Men (at times even Women, who are misogynist certainly) go their way out to make life difficult for an independent woman in actually the stupidest way possible, just to prove the point that "women, you are better off staying at home and living in the shadow of men".
Though the motto of feminism is to actually empower and protect women and their rights as a human being, however, due to extreme patriarchy, misogyny, sexism in the society, many women end up defining feminism as "being hateful towards men".
Cannot blame them for that, however, as not correctly demonstrated, most of the women who have become the public figure to preach the feminism often are not well-read about it, and end up preaching the wrong conception to the younger generations, who are not inclined to self-learning either and follow whatever they find convenient.
Which is why, I have been extremely annoyed with so-called feminist agendas against men, considering how foolish the idea of boycotting men or being hateful towards men in general regardless being suppressed by the tradition, culture that were built by the society, certainly morphed by the dominating being of society, which are MEN.
But, is that what we really want?
No.
We, women, want to equally exist with men in our lives, and want to be considered as a human being equally capable of men, not to mention putting aside our physical differences that are not even contextual.
Personally, what I desire for men to cha
Nothing has changed for working women. She is still doing all the work she used to do while she was a shadow at home. Because our misogynist mothers have been raising their boys as kings, not teaching the boys shit about taking care of his family when he forms one of his own.
nge.
I do not want for a woman to have a job, then come home, do the house chores, take care of kids, not to mention washing, cooking, cleaning, and all sorts of thing. And, if a woman cannot handle both, which is very natural to do, they are giving up their career, their financial, social, personal independence.
So, precisely I grew up wanting to stay single until I find a man, who is willing to share the responsibilities if not more at least equally! To me, I mean why would I bother to take care of someone besides me if I am not getting the privilege to share the basic day-to-day responsibilities with him.
The hundreds of my batchmates, the thousands of working women I know of, to my best knowledge none of their husbands share the family chores and responsibilities with their wives.
My women would go to work, come home, cook, clean, take care of the family members and all the other things that were entitled for a woman to perform in the ancient times when women never saw the sun-rays and stayed home from birth to death.
So, no, I cannot do both, neither do I want to. And not to mention, I am not willing to leave my financial, social, personal freedom and be a full-grown housewife either. Now that I have developed a life where I fulfill my wishes and spend money on whatever things I desire, be it the silliest matter, I can never go back to asking someone for money for every little thing. You never know when he will say "WHY do you need what you need!"
I always say, I have some pretty amazing men in my life, but men like those are probably .0000001% of this entire nation!
On the other hand, I have never found a man (towards whom I developed romantic feelings and was worthy of a trial-&-error for more than a few months), I meant romantic relationship by the way. Not that we ended on bad terms, severe heart breaks (except once, coz I knew any better at that age). It has been like one day, I just decided "Okay, that's it for this" and that's that.
It might sound ridiculous, but let me confess, I have not been into any romantic relationships for the past 7 years now and I am doing just fine without one.
[Screenshot from the movie "Lapatta Ladies"]
I would not say I do not want to, however, it is not the center of life, so I would rather stick to my "society called unattainable" standard than choose an evident chaotic partner!
All the contents are mine until mentioned otherwise.