At 23, she married him via a civil ceremony because she was already pregnant. The boyfriend who became her husband was 10 years older yet had a personality of a playboy. He was jobless and dependent upon his mother financially and at that time still goes to the uni because his family wanted him to become an engineer. To me, he was the epitome of an irresponsible, happy-go-lucky guy.
When pressed for the truth, she shared that he'd leave her for days and come home whenever he wanted. Over the course of her pregnancy, she had been alone. During labor and delivery of their child, he wasn't there because he was away with another woman. I was mad, too mad that I could not hold myself and told her over the phone to leave him already while it isn't too late (I was in another country at that time).
She laughed yet I know behind the laughter, she was hurting so much.
And it's as if fate had it that during that same time, her parents' relationship was on the rocks and they decided to separate. One emotional blow after another. How tough it must have been for her... She cried yes, but it didn't take long and she was back on her feet, raring her baby even when she was all alone, her husband often away and would go home as he pleased.
At one point I asked why she can't leave him. Her answer silenced me. It was a choice she made even when she knows about the consequences and she'd stand by it because she believes that her husband will one day change. Also, she didn't want to give a broken home to her child. I couldn't help but admire her optimism and faith.
Then a few years later, she found out that her husband had a son with another woman. The boy was a year younger than her little girl. The boy's mother wanted the father to take him in because she was going elsewhere and no one would look after him.
Can you guess what happened?
My friend accepted the boy in their home and took care of him like her own. She's so selfless and has a heart of gold, I must say. I teased her then if she had plans of legally adopting the little man and she said she has faith that the boy's mother will take him back one day.
And she was right on both things that she truly believed in...
First, the boy's mother took him back years later and second, her husband has changed over the years too. He has become a professional engineer after 12 years at the uni and subtly turned into a responsible man. They now live happily with my friend's mother who never got married after separating from her husband 19 years ago.
This is my participation to the second question of the week's LoH challenge, re:
Let's talk about a resilient woman, it can be your friend, family member, co-worker, etc. What is her life challenge and what did she do to overcome the trial she faced?