Having lived through many many moons, I've also lived through some devastating events in my life, not good memories at all, but I had to get on with life!
In my late twenties, many moons ago, the suicide of my talented brother was the most devastating event I had ever faced. This desperate act lives with one forever, as you always wonder why did I not see this coming?
My favourite uncle, Rulov, a gentle and kind man who was more like an older brother to me, helped me through that period with many telephone calls, as we were very close.
When I see my two beautiful nieces and their children today, it's like I still have a piece of my brother, and that's exactly how they feel about their Dad's side of the family.
Rulov, totally exhausted, sitting on the pavement while working on the set of 'Little Shop of Horrors.'
A memento done especially for him by the Dancing Satellite Company many moons ago.
It was a Sunday night; years later, and I had last spoken to Rulov on Saturday morning and was a bit concerned that he'd not called me, unusual for a Sunday.
His friend who used to share his Sunday newspaper with him, found him with his legs and hands bound at the back. I did not want to hear nor believe what he was saying and kept on asking if he'd called the paramedics!
The next voice that came on the line, was a policeman, who told me my sweet and gentle Rulov was dead, he'd been strangled. I was totally devastated!
The murderers were never found, and got off scot-free! Some of the police laughed at the private investigator we employed, asking why he would want to solve the murder of a gay man!
What helped me through this dark period, was the good memories he left behind. I received calls and messages for a long time from many of his friends who shared funny and touching stories.
A very good friend wrote this poem in memory of him, and I think it paints a picture of just what a beautiful man he was.
With permission by Rulov's special friend Lisanne Frewin.
I have kept the beautiful obituaries written by 2 newspapers as well as newspaper cuttings about his achievements in his dancing career and as wardrobe manager in his Silver years, beautiful photo albums, and special mementos of his travels. As he trusted us implicitly, he left everything to hubby and me.
Rulov was a stabilizing factor in the stormy world of dance and theatre and was able to calm down the most volatile and fickle actor/ actress. As the CEO of the theatre put it, he was an old-timer, a thorough gentleman.
At the memorial held at the Joburg Theatre, his immense kindness, constant caring, and humour were what most remembered about him. Oh, and that he was very frank with his assessments of the outfits one wore!
Rulov managed to get a ‘full-house’ in the 250-seater theatre one last time with many famous faces bidding him a sad farewell.
As with the loss of Mom Lily recently, both have left a legacy in their own way that will live on in my heart forever, and that is how I've coped!
This week's Ladies of Hive Community Contest #83 has some really challenging questions, so thank you to the team working behind the scenes, and to 
I think you know by now which question I answered.
For this week we have three questions
from which to choose
(or answer two, or all three, your choice!):
1️⃣ What was the most devastating event in your life? Express your feelings and how you coped.
Or
2️⃣ Experiencing the most insightful time in your life, was it complicated or a sudden moment in realization? Explain what happened, and how elated you felt.
Or
3️⃣ Explain the most beneficial experience you have encountered producing results that satisfy you or your lifestyle. Let us know what it was and how it affected you.
I would like to invite 
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