“ You don’t seem to have direction in life”, that’s what they’re concerned about.
Lately, I am hearing that a lot, the more I dive into this society and the way it thinks, the more disconnection I experience. The older I get, the more I just want to quietly get away from civilization and it’s honestly not something new. Living a monastic life and devoting a life to a certain teaching sounded even more appealing these days.
At least, that’s a version of me, a contingency, a plan Y in parts of my life where A, B, C, or even D no longer work,
As I am older and recently coming out of a devastating life and rebuilding everything, I wanted to take everything at my own pace. Yet somehow, I’ve been dragged into life that I was running away from once and following someone else’s pace. The more I feel so far away from the life I dreamed about or even the life I used to have where the version of me was happier.
I know, we could never be 100% happy but I know where my contentedness is compared to the life I have now.
I enjoy the comfort of spending time with my beloved mother, sipping coffee and chatting about many random things.
Even if I have to work, I could have so many other options in life. It’s just that I don’t expect to be judged. Some of my jobs have been really unconventional but money has always been the end goal and I know how to get there. That has never been the issue.
Yet in another parts of my life, my unconventional life seems to be quite an issue. These people base happiness on status, wealth, and achievements in life that they were willing to sacrifice everything. For me, all that matters is just if I have enough freedom to do whatever pleases my heart.
That being said, recently I spent time with my mother again, seeing her so happy drinking her tea and eating the pastry in a recently opened cafe in town.
I was reminded once again of life that I used to have/the reason I worked hard in life.
Though I lead an unconventional life, she is the only one who accepts me, for who I am. She never wants to mold me into a certain person. She just wants the best for me. And that’s all I ever ask for. Most importantly, her unwavering love helped me through everything.
Frankly, that's enough.
To my beloved mother and the most beautiful woman in my life, I'll always be forever thankful and grateful for everything she does.
𝘊𝘦𝘮𝘺 (𝘰𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘤) 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 & 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘳, 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘬. 𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵, 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘵𝘩. 𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺, 𝘱𝘰𝘱 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺; 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴. 𝘍𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘏𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘣 𝘢 𝘤𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘴. |