I was going to write a poem then I remember I'm not good at writing poems. Maybe I could pull it off but I feel it won't tell enough how I'm feeling.
Ever had to get angry at yourself but no words came out of your mouth? And then you get angry again when you actually didn't listen to your self.
Sometimes, I just sit, think and feel more sorry when I remember that there are women having it worse than I am. Being a woman is a whole lot.
Somedays I wake up wishing I don't have to play my "being a woman"s duties, it gets exhausting and I still feel like I've not even started much yet.
Sometimes, I want to scream so loud asking for help, all the help I can get but then, I remember those who need my help and I have to act strong.
Life has a lot to teach, I'm very much aware of that but some times, I'm tempted to stop learning but then I remember learning brought me this far.
"You're a strong woman", "not many can do what you do or have done", I get comments like this but why don't I know much of that strength seen?
There's so much I can do and so much I want to do but somewhere deep down, the strength is weak and motivation fights with procrastination.
I'm sure this is just me beating myself over what I'll eventually get right but I wish I don't have to beat myself first and I'll always be strong for me.
Well, I'm not just a woman, I am human and humans are bound to be both strong and weak at different times. I need to accept that fact for me.
What truly matters to me is my peace of mind when I'm alone and I'm around people, but my inner woman isn't at the state of peace I want.
Still, I'm so grateful. I can't even thank God enough for how far I've come and the thoughts He has placed in me to push myself to strength.
Image used is from pixabay.