I encountered several women while working in humanitarian duty and was inspired by the women on the frontline's stories. My article will focus on the realities of women within my community. It might also apply to women in your community....
It is common nowadays to see a woman well-dressed with an expensive wig and a calm voice walking along the streets and returning home walking into her bedroom quietly with no one knowing exactly what she is going through. Looking closely, you will realise that behind that quiet strength lies a silent cry which no one could hear. A cry that echoes via the walls of her heart, even when she cooks, works, or carries her child on one hip while stirring a pot with the other hand.
The silent cry of a woman is not always loud. It must not be when you see her crying and pouring out tears. Sometimes, one can detect that whenever she puts on a long pause before she answers, she forces laughter when it's obvious she is tired and taking a deep breath before she leaves the bathroom where she probably had 4 minutes to herself. She will listen to others' pains but will carry her own quietly without speaking out and will pretend to be fine even when truly she knows she is breaking inside. My dear women, I will encourage you to speak out because healing starts when you speak out to a professional not talking to friends.
You might claim to be strong because you feel you are young and can handle everything. You might see yourself as a fixer, nurturer and an independent woman, but the truth be told, you are just simply hiding your hurt and crying in silence. You choose to suffer in strength because you think you are a superwoman.
It is common to see women spend the whole day working hard and haven't slept throughout the night, especially mothers with toddlers but will still wake up every morning to prepare breakfast and do school runs without complaining. She might be a wife who feels invisible, lost in the routine of giving so much while receiving so little. She might be a single woman navigating the pressure to “…have it all figured out…,” while internally drowning in doubt and anxiety. She might be a career woman, applauded for her achievements, yet quietly battling burnout or loneliness.
Women often have this silent cry which is layered with lots of burden. They are layered with the fatigue of being everything to everyone, A silent cry layered with the heartbreak of not being understood, a silent cry layered with the fear of not being enough, a silent cry layered with the guilt for wanting more, for wishing for a break, for simply feeling tired of being strong all the time but yet, she carries on
She carries on because women are resilient, she knows life doesn’t pause when she’s tired, she believes in the importance of her role, even when no one acknowledges it. But just because she is strong, doesn’t mean she’s not hurting. Just because she’s quiet, doesn’t mean she doesn’t need help.
To the world, she may seem “okay,” but behind that quiet smile, there’s a voice that longs to be heard not judged, not fixed but just heard. Sometimes, the greatest act of love we can offer a woman is to simply ask, “…How are you, …really?…” and wait long enough to hear the truth behind her words.
So, if you’re that woman going through the silent cry know this: your silent cry is reasonable, your strength is beautiful, but your vulnerability is not weakness. You are not walking alone and it is okay to speak out to those who are willing to listen and not judge you because even the strongest hearts need rest, even the loudest silence deserves a voice.