Here's to the women who rise above and break stereotypes.- Rupi Kaur
As a young lady growing up in Africa, I wouldn’t say it’s been an easy ride. I’ve had instances where guys try to talk down on me just because I’m a lady. Today, I want to share with you an experience I had with a guy way back in the university.
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In my university, we used to run three semesters, two on campus and one on the field. And when I say field I mean we were sent to remote villages with no electricity and water. For my group, we were 10 in number, 8 guys and two ladies myself inclusive. Arriving at our community was a struggle because the school drivers left us half way at bridge so we had to cross before getting help from people around to our destination. It was almost a week before we were able to get a decent place to stay, we spent our first days in the village sleeping in classrooms.
The main reason we were there was to conduct a community survey, interact with the members of the community, get to know their problems and what issues they want to be addressed and finally present a report on our findings. It was stated nowhere that ladies we supposed to do this and guys supposed to do that. It was a group work and we were all equals. Our stay was good for the first few weeks as everyone helped around the house. We would wake up, pray, have our usual morning meetings to plan our day, then move on to clean the house and cook together. When it came to cleaning the house, anyone could help with it but because we were just two ladies we decided to take care of the cooking even though we also helped around the house and all of that. In our third week I realized people started acting funny, especially one of the guys and he started talking to some other guys in private until I called for a meeting for us to address what’s going on.
Guys, to my surprise, this guy had the audacity to say in the meeting that why would there be two ladies in the group and we would be expecting they the guys to sweep and even fetch water for us. So I’m like ‘really’. And he further added that we are supposed to treat them like our husbands. I really wasn’t going to let this slide. I calmly put him in his right place and I made it known to everyone in the group that no one is anyone’s husband here and we are here to work as a group. We are not here to be anyone’s slave so if that’s the case, everyone should cook his own food, fetch his own water and what have you. The only thing we would do together is to work on the project we are here for. He later came to apologize and so on.
What exactly am I driving at? As a lady, you shouldn’t be afraid to speak up when it’s necessary. Stand up for what is right and never let anyone try to take advantage of you because of your gender.
A lady should be confident and embrace who she is. As women, we are unique and no one can take that away from us. Confidence is key. Show up to that appointment with 100% confidence and you will get the results you seek. Learn to come to terms with who you are, embrace your uniqueness and find a way to build on it.
We all have what we are passionate about. We are no more in the era where women are not allowed to go to school anymore and all of that. As a lady, you can reach any height you desire and when you really know what you want and put your all into it, you’d see yourself getting there gradually.
Believe me when I tell you there are still men out there who believe women belong in the kitchen. Dear lady, surround yourself with positive people and have a positive mind. We can’t do this life thing alone but it gets better when we have supportive people around us. Don’t allow anyone dim your light because you are a fighter.
Finally, I’d like to tell you to go easy on yourself as a lady. I understand getting to the top as a lady is not that easy but my dear, take a break when you need to, have some fun, explore and also ,take care of yourself.
As Michelle Obama said ‘There is no limit to what we, as women can accomplish.’ On this note, I’d like to tell every lady out there to dream big and never cease to believe in yourself. We are rooting for you!
With love, Nhaji.❤️
All images belong to me unless stated otherwise.