I failed the first debate I participated in. The incident happened two years ago but I remember that day like it was just yesterday. I had spent days going over my lines, practicing my gestures in front of the mirror, timing myself so I could keep to the three minutes that I knew would be given to me and even daydreaming about the loud round of applause that would follow.
But none of this happened. I got on stage, and I went blank. My palms were sweaty and my voice cracked as I tried to force words out. I tried repeatedly to force everything I’d learnt to come back but nothing was forthcoming so I just smiled akwardly and left stage with blurry vision because of tears that had gathered. The embarrassment was unbearable. My team came last instead of the first place we worked hard for and I blamed myself for it.
Fast forward to two years later, I led my team to victory in a national debate competition. I failed once but I made a promise to myself not to fail again. I started practicing months before, read articles and books on the art of public speaking, went on youtube and studied the greatest tv hosts and tedX speakers I could find. I knew that I could be like them. I wanted to be like them desperately. I just needed more practice.
Everyday, I gave a two to three minute speech on any topic to practice articulation and eloquence in my speech. Because of all these, winning the competition wasn’t hard. I had transformed from a school debater to a world class public speaker.
I believe that failure is a stepping stone to success. Permit me to say this, but I think everyone should experience a good measure of failure before success. Failure builds resilience. It creates room for growth and builds character in a way that success does not.
Behind every success story that we admire, of great people, there were series of invisible failed attempts. When things goes smoothly, there’s no reason to improve or grow in our craft. We lean into that comfortability. When we fail, we are forced to confront our weaknesses head on. We fail, we learn, we rise and this is what builds greatness.
While success feels good, it doesn’t make you ask questions. Failure demands reflection which brings self awareness. When I failed my debate competition, I went back to the drawing board. I realized that I was a crammer, a garbage in - garbage out person so when one word slipped from my brain, it ruined the entire thing. In order to improve, I needed to be an expert orator with a rich vocabulary who could always improvise on the spot. If I had not fumbled on stage two years ago, I wouldn’t have made such realization and sooner or later, failure would hit me like a truck.
Failure makes you sit down and ask yourself, “What went wrong?” “What can I do to be better next time?”
People who didn’t experience failure before success tend to take failure badly when it eventually comes. Why did I use eventually? Because I believe failure is an inevitable part of life. People who have never failed crumble the moment they experience a setback. But those who have failed understand that success isn’t always straightforward. They understand that failure makes success sweeter.
In this way, failure is important in building character. When one has experienced failure, every win feels earned and the act of gratitude is cultivated. They don’t take anything for granted. They appreciate every step of the journey. They are also empathetic towards people going through difficult phases that they once experienced and as a result, offer meaningful and realistic advice to these people.
Failure is a stepping stool to success. Although it is a painful one, one that some people never recover from, but one that lifts us higher everytime if we allow it shape us. A single failed attempt doesn’t define us, neither does a hundred. Michael Faraday, the inventor of the light bulb didn’t allow his ninety-nine failed attempts stop him. It shapes us into better and stronger people. It refines us to be world class just like it did to me. The most embarrassing moment of my life birthed something in me that I never knew existed.
In the world that we live in where everyone wants to achieve success immediately, we should remember that failure is not a death sentence. Rather we should see it as the universe way of shaping us into better people. It’s okay to try, fail and start again. Always remember that every failure is a step closer to success so never stop trying.
Thank you for reading 🤍
If you’d like to connect or collaborate, feel free to reach out on Instagram:
🔗 @estella.
Grace. Growth. Greatness. ✨