Hello to the beautiful ladies of Hive.
For the #LOH prompt this week, I’ll be answering question two.
2️⃣ What are your thoughts of a "house husband?"
Would you be okay with a relationship where roles were reversed?
I’ll begin by stating that I am of African descent, a pure Nigerian breed. One who grew to teachings that a man is the head of the house- a provider, while the woman- a homemaker and caregiver. I heard the same line repeatedly in school, in church, and everywhere else.
By definition; A house husband is an individual who is a stay-at-home dad, who typically is the one to take care of the children, run errands, and manage the household. He is a prime example of a male taking on traditionally female duties.
Where I come from, a stay-at-home husband WAS deemed weak, irresponsible, indolent, or under the authority of his wife. As a matter of fact, men are inherently egotistical beings.
I daresay that for many men(responsible men), it’ll be a bruise on their already overinflated ego if they are not the breadwinners of their respective families. Perhaps, 21st-century men have begun to change this narrative.
If you ask me, I believe civilization and the quest for equality have resulted in many modifications and adaptations, particularly in the Western world. To make such role swapping a global norm, however, substantially more than gender equality and civilization would be required.
A stay-at-home husband and a househusband may appear to be the same thing to many people, but there's a subtle distinction in my opinion.
A stay-at-home husband is one who remains home because he has a business to run from home or works remotely, whereas a house husband is one who takes care of the home with no financial means.
Personally, I wouldn’t mind a stay-at-home husband who works remotely, especially if we have children. I’ll feel better knowing that, in addition to the nanny, my spouse gets to be with the children as well.
Regardless of how much I make, I absolutely want a partner who also contributes to the household, no matter how little. Not just for me, but for him as well.
I’ve heard of cases of men being intimidated by a woman’s success. Something about having my husband stay home to do dishes and run errands while I sit in an office somewhere or call the financial shots doesn’t sit right with my African self.
Having a career and successfully running a household are both tasking and demanding. If you doubt me, try taking care of three children for a week straight; from baths, meals, to laundry, to cleaning up after them, plus repairs, shopping, and so on. See how much weight you lose.
In essence, it’s only acceptable for me if he has very good reasons to stay at home, such as health concerns, remote work, or educational pursuits. Otherwise, I don’t see why he should stay home.
Just so you know, I have no intention of becoming a full-time housewife whose primary obligation is to raise children and take care of a home. I’m going to be the mum who works, and takes care of the household.
I want to have something of my own, regardless of how wealthy my spouse is. As a result, I wouldn’t subscribe to a househusband unless there were compelling reasons to do so.
At the end of the day, it's different strokes for different folks. There’s really no ready manual as to how this should go. We all have different life goals and dreams, each individual, every couple is unique.
I believe that partners involved can settle for whatever plan works for them provided they are happy, comfortable, fulfilled, and productive.
Lastly, I would invite and
to express their opinions on this as well.