A delight in solitude
When we were still getting to know more of each other, I remember talking to my boyfriend about my tendency to do things on my own. That I love solitude. I love dating myself, that I value me time, that there are just things I'd rather do alone. It was important that even before our relationship started, I had to establish how I do things and what I value most, or else we might end up fighting over it in the future.
I love to travel solo. I have been in the most dangerous places in the country on my own (Yup, Tawi-tawi, Basilan and Sulu).
I love to watch movie all by my myself and I won't be jealous of the couple sitting next to me. It pumps me up to think of watching movies when I backpack around the country: a movie in Rockwell, in Gensan, in Davao, in Nueva Ecija, in Albay. Even my friends had to adjust, there's this one movie I wanted to watch alone but they wanted to watch it with me. What I suggested so that I get to enjoy the movie as if I was alone is we watched it in the cinema at the same time but we seated 2 or three seats away from each other. They really went through it just to give way. And right after the movie we were united as if nothing happened. 😂
I went to a concert of my favorite singer/vocalist alone. It was such a great experience that I don't have to look after someone else's state or feelings or to check if they're enjoying themselves or not. I just had to lift my arms up at the first note of "Ang Huling El Bimbo" and I could be lost all night as Ely sang all the songs I grew up with.
I used to go to coffee shops alone not to get my dose of caffeine but to claim my glass of sugar (in frappe), a reward I give myself once a month. I just stay there alone, writing on my journal or scribbling an idea in my head and sometimes planning (or checking testpapers of my students before). There were also times I'd rush to my favorite coffee shop because people and things and events stressed me out.
I can practically be left alone all year long and I wouldn't mind. I love the company I get when I'm with myself.
An important date
On a holiday last November, I scheduled a date with yes, you got it right, me, myself and I. But unlike the usual dates I've had with myself, this time I decided to take it a notch higher.
"My hair needs a total makeover", I told myself one day. I had a few lined up events I was expected to attend in December. I thought it's best to show up after undergoing a glow up session, a major one if I may.
It was an afternoon of a Holiday when I traveled to Lapu-Lapu City. There were a few salons in Cebu City but in terms of hair makeover, there's only one person I trust and that's Ma'am Amor. She was referred by my workmate's wife back in 2019. And after experiencing her service, I told myself I'm not going to get my hair colored by someone else.
The pandemic affected the operation of Ma'am Amor's salon which later on led to its closure. But with many customers still asking for her service, she decided to open a home-based salon. I didn't mind getting the service in her home. In fact, I was happy to see that her salon's spacious, open area.
The transformation
What I love about her service could be compared to eating fastfood meals and home-cooked meals. In her salon, you'll never feel the service's rushed. Ma'am Amor takes her time and makes sure she delivers in all aspects of service.
She asked my opinion what method I'd like her to use in bleaching my hair. I told her to use the rubber-like cap with pinholes (forgive me for I don't know the exact terms) to bleach my hair. I dislike the effect of using foils to get hair highlights. I don't like to get solid straight-lined highlights eversince. Using this method, I still get to have varying colors in my hair but very mild, almost unnoticeable.
The catch is, it's more time consuming and tiresome to use this method than the foil one, but Ma'am Amor never complained and eagerly proceeded with my request.
They rinsed, blow dried my hair. I'm well aware that Ma'am Amor takes before and after shots of all her clients; she uses these to advertise her service in social media. With the help of her niece they used Tiktok to make a video of my hair.
When bleaching was done, it's now time to apply the hair color. I trust Ma'am Amor so much that I let her decide what color suits me best this time! I just told her I don't want it to be too light.
After roughly two hours of letting the hair color take its effect on my hair, Ma'am Amor checked it and to my surprise, she added another layer of color to it. I was starting to see the changes in color but had to wait for few more minutes. It was already dark outside and I'm itching to go home and stretch. Haha! 😂
And finally, it's time to rinse! Her home-based salon was fun and exciting. I particularly was fond of her makeshift rinsing area where she used a water hose. I truly admire her resourcefulness just to deliver her sought-after service.
Rinsing my hair was my favorite part of her service. I felt her soft fingers pressed against my scalp. I mean I can have my hair washed by her all day long and I wouldn't mind really. The manner she handled it reflected how she values her client's comfort and satisfaction.
And after a looooong day, she finally said my hair's done. It was time to take the after shots and continue with the video to complete her Tiktok advertisement.
It was one of the longest time of the year I've been seated. Imagine starting at around 1 PM and finishing by 7 PM, that's a long time just sitting! Good thing Ma'am Amor is very talkative and her nonstop, wide-array of small talks led to conversations that entertained me the whole time. Perhaps this is one of the reason why I kept coming back to avail of her service.
And tada! My hair looked fantastic after enduring the entire afternoon! I have to be honest tho, I didn't like the color at first. I was too light for me, but later on when I get to see its color in broad daylight, I felt fantastic and I couldn't be more thankful to her for what she's done to my hair.
It was past 7 so I rushed out of their village where the home-based salon was located and rode a jeepney to reach home.
I never thought I'd spend the entire afternoon there, I even planned on going to this coffee shop nearby to continue dating myself but nah, time's not on my side this time. I reached a mall and decided to eat my dinner there. Unfortunately, most of the restaurants were closed. Gladly one of my favorite go-to place was still open so I ordered some of my favorites - chicken and Tropicana! Afterall, dating myself doesn't have to be extravagant.
An end note
I've always been labeled as a strong independent woman; each time I'd hear it, I'd take it as a compliment. There's something sexy in being independent, in the idea that you control your life, your happiness, your peace, your destination; that you don't need people all the time to remind yourself of your worth as a woman, your value as a person,
Following a tragic fallout, I made it a priority to love myself more. I realized no one can understand, love and treat me better than myself. If I couldn't even give the attention my self deserves, how could I expect others to do the same?
I make it a habit to date myself - from a lavish hair transformation to a simple cup of frappe in a coffee shop or a Netflix date with myself. I never fail to make time to show myself the kind of love it deserves. 😍
How about you? Have you tried dating yourself? How did you spend your quality time?
Living life intentionally every single day, she believes that there’s no limit to one’s potentials. Right now, she’s on the loose for the pursuit of endless holistic self-growth and development. She wants to light the way for others. She believes there’s no better way to leave a legacy than to pay it forward.
Her ultimate goal in life is to reach the state of enlightenment where there’s nothing but peace, love, happiness, and contentment - nothing more, nothing less.
If you are captivated by what this girl just wrote here, an upvote is pretty appreciated. Follow her as she tells her stories full of positivities. The next story might be for you! ❤️