There could never be a day when I wouldn't think about my grandmother. Mainly because of the pandemic, and she's part of the most susceptible population. Sometimes, it's because of the list of errands or chores around the house she asks us to do or something she said about our workmanship in doing chores.
My grandmother can be a difficult woman. My brothers and I are two or three generational gaps away from hers and this often is the cause for most misunderstandings we encounter with each other around the house. There is one thing I can agree on though. My grandmother is a fierce woman, her ferocity is often perceived to be no match from all the males of her generation combined.
Emiliana "Emil" Julapong was born in 1947, just two years after the end of World War II, to Boholano parents in the municipality of Sevilla, the eldest of 13 siblings. You probably think that 13 is a lucky number, (or unlucky number depending on what culture you grew up in) but my grandma didn't have that much luck in the circumstances she grew up in with her family.
Her family struggled with poverty. Most of her childhood days were spent taking care of her many siblings and helping her parents make a living. She could even still recall during her elementary days when she could only attend classes three times a week or less because she had to help out around the house while her parents were out earning for the family.
She never wanted to skip school. She loved school, but at that time, refusing her parents meant the thrashing of the whip, back when whipping pre-pubescent grade school children was a thing.
My grandmother was smart, and it showed. She's only an Elementary school graduate but even in her later years, she could read, write and do arithmetic better than all of her friends who finished fancy college degrees. Sometimes I wonder how much of her potential could have been realized if she was placed in the same privileged setting as my brothers and I currently are. That's one thing I probably consider to be perpetually grateful for.
She could have entered high school for free, but still, she was forced to give up school after that, because there was no one in the house her parents could rely on, aside from that, she was also pressured to start earning for the family. And do note, this was expected of her, because she was the eldest among 13 children.
That was the norm for most people back then. Though there are those lucky few children who could afford to continue education because of how supportive their parents were despite how harsh life was for everyone at that time, and there are those who grew up under parents who think it's an absolute waste of time and would rather want their children to sign up as household helpers or factory workers to help earn for the family. Unfortunately, my grandmother belonged to the latter.
Story #1: How She Became A Seamstress
My grandmother has always been a religious person, growing up to participate in all workings of the local Catholic church ever since she started to walk.
I remember this one time where she told a particular story about being one of the most participative member in helping to organize the local parish carry out a procession of Mother Mary. She did this at the age of 8.
Just like most people at that time, she'd spend a considerable amount of time dedicating prayers to Jesus Christ and asking Catholic saints, especially the Holy Mother to pray for her.
There were many times in her life when "her faith saved her" as she would put it, and I'm about to tell the story of the very first one.
It was early in her teenage years, maybe about 13 or 14, and staying at home and doing random jobs didn't cut it anymore. She wanted to earn more, for herself, for her family and would be family when she got married.
She was growing frantic of not having a permanent livelihood and was confused and lacked direction on what to do, so she prayed for many months to the one person she considered her idol -- the Mother Mary.
"Ma, unsa-on man nako pag-pangitag sapi? Wala koy nahibaw-an na trabaho. Unsaon nako pagpabuhi sa akong kaugalingon ug sa akong pamilya?"
(Ma, how will I earn? I don't know the first thing about earning money. How will I fend for myself and my family?)
One night, Mother Mary appeared to her in a dream:
"Emil, pagkat-on ug pagpanahi"
(Emil, learn how to sew)
"Adtu-a imong ig-agaw sa Loay"
(you must go to your cousin's place at Loay and learn how to become a seamstress).
And then she woke up.
She didn't take her dream seriously at first. She still had to consider asking her parents, her dad mainly, for permission. When she opened the idea to her dad, he didn't support the idea.
He wanted her to just stay at home and continue weaving baskets. She could earn money right away with basket weaving, but with training as a seamstress, she had to stop earning for the family for a while and her dad didn't like the idea of spending several months in Loay without contributing to the family's financial inflow.
Somehow, at the age of 15 or 16, she managed to convince him. She trained under her cousin's family for six months, all the while giving back to the family by helping out with orders from customers and doing household chores. She managed to earn a good stipend too, with most of it sent to her family back home.
I listen to her repeat these stories time after time, and yes, sometimes I find it too redundant, but now, as I am writing this for you readers, I developed an appreciation on my grandmother and the degree of hardship she used to endure when she was young. I don't think I could be as half as strong, and half as good as an eldest sibling, or even just a daughter as she was back then.
I used to feel hyper-offended about how people from my grandparents' generation talk about mine. It was a long time ago, when I used to almost always consider anything tumblr-y, twitter-y or any post on social media with a very least hint of relatable, as the Gospel truth.
So #woke. So #leftist. So cringe. I know.
But I have to admit, being told that my generation is "entitled", "hayahay" (comfortable) and "too sensitive" does put a pinprick on my collective pride as part of the millennials. It's not as if we had some choice in the matter for sure on the country's economical growth by the time we were flung to the earth 😂.
I don't agree with succumbing to guilt-trip by the Karens of the world of course. It's an annoying and counter-intuitive attitude, whichever generation possesses it. Younger generations being presented with more opportunities than the previous ones, is supposed to be a good sign-- a sign of growth, a sign of improvement.
But when I go back and think about my grandma's experiences, and listen to all her struggles back when she was too young to even be subjected to those kinds of responsibilities I've mentioned, there is a sense of justification in her views.
A part of me agrees that she had a difficult childhood, and maybe at some point in her life, was thankful but at the same time possessed a kind of resentment to her children and grandchildren for not going through the same struggles she did and for gaining opportunities she never would have dreamed of. But she didn't let this resentment get in the way of becoming the great grandmother and homemaker that she is. My brothers and I are beyond blessed to have been born in the best time to be alive, and for having a fierce grandmother keeping us grounded and helping us realize it.
(To be continued)
Special mention to:
Grant Whitty on Unsplash
My cousin Regine and mom for the photos
Roxanne Marie is the twenty-year-old something who calls herself the Protean Creator.
She is a chemical engineer by profession, pole-dancer and blogger by passion and frustration, and lastly, a life enthusiast. She is on a mission to rediscover her truth through the messy iterative process of learning, relearning and unlearning. Currently, she works as a science and research instructor in her hometown, Tagbilaran City, all the while documenting her misadventures, reflections and shenanigans as a working-class millennial here on Hive.
If you like her content, don't forget to upvote and leave a comment to show some love. It would be an honor to have this post reblogged as well. Also, don't forget to follow her to be updated with her latest posts.