Most of my tattoos I had done by 24 - a fairy on my shoulder (how very 90s), a spiral on the small of my back, and a cluster of stars. They all mean something to me - scars on my skin that mark what I was going though at the time. They were all done by a lover who was a tattoo artist, which is a sweet memory. He was a drummer in a thrash metal band. I wonder where he is now, as it's been twenty years since I saw him.

My most recent tattoo is a heart I got about three years ago. My Dad had had a heart attack and I was suffering a lot of anxiety. He was then diagnosed with cancer and my heart was going to break with grief. It was around then I fully felt what Grief truly was - it was the flip side of love. Once I truly embraced that I could settle down that intense pain in my chest to something softer and gentler. Special, even. Like I was honouring my father with each painful beat of my own heart. And everyone was so beautifully kind to me during this time. I felt so much love around me that a little heart made sense. I did it quickly, on a whim. But to this day it's my favourite. I wear my heart on my sleeve a lot, you see. Made sense in all kinds of ways to get it inked there.

Now I am entering my 50th year of life I am planning another small tattoo to match, on my other forearm. I'd love to get a whole sleeve of herbs and mushrooms but it seems expensive and frivolous. I like these small tattoos just for me. I don't need them to show off for others.

My plan is to get the alchemical symbol for Earth. As an air sign I live a lot in my head - my intellect rules and I think alot. I have to constantly practice grounding and coming back into my body. Air signs are flighty, changeable, analytical, perceptive. I need earth to balance all that out. Not completely static or stagnant, but more solid and rooted and peaceful.

The earth is also the element from which all others are born and to which everything returns. It's rocks, trees, sky, plants, mycelium, everything. Everything that matters. I've always been a nature lover and deeply connected to the natural world so it makes sense for me to have the earth element on my skin.

It's also a reminder than one day I will be dust and ashes. This body decays, and becomes the earth. That's a sweet thing for me.

I also think it's super cool that the air and earth element are alike - merely flipped. One needs air - to change, flow, create, adapt - and much as one needs stability, self care, groundedness and solidity. From my perspective looking down, I'll be looking at the earth - but for others seeing me, they will see air. This is my outward show, constantly seeking my earth.

This is in response to the Ladies Of HIVE question of the week that you can find here. The challenge asked which tattoo would you get if you were going to get one right now.

With Love,

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