I know, age is just a number, but, there are just times that we will be more aware of it, we'll be reminded though i'm not saying its a bad thing. But still, we can't help but noticed it and make a big deal out of it. I'm sure i'm not the only one here. Especially when we look in the mirror, that's the realization will hit us, when we notice the the dark circles, freckles slowly sprouting everywhere and then the hair loss that is so hard to manage. I don't really care much about my age but that doesn't mean I never think about it.
I did, and when I do, I can't help but be more insecure. From a level of 40 my insecurity will go up into level 80, like, I can't help it. I feel really old for my age now, I just turned 31 last August but I feel 40 ಥ_ಥ. Make up can cover this yes, or a filter? But the feeling is still there, haha. After removing the make up, then back to feeling 40 again? So with the question: Do you feel older or younger for your age? YES! I feel older even though i'm 31.
I feel really old for my age right now because of how I look. Like, I know I can maybe do something about it, by doing skin care or a hair treatment, but I am too lazy to do it. And I feel like it is a luxury for me, part of me wanted it but part of me is against it too. Why i'm like this? Like for example. I promised to take care of my hair by using hair conditioner but, I can't keep it up. Lol. My hair conditioner's will just rot in my box organizer, out of six sachet I still have 5 sachet in there
Ans furthermore, when I see people who's older than me and has this cute, pretty face, has a nice body, and a beautiful appearance - I can't help but compare myself to them. And i'll go self pity after as if it's someone's fault. Lol. Like, why they are so pretty? How can they do that? Is it genetics? It is for sure right? But I think my parents is beautiful too, I just didn't get their pretty features ಥ_ಥ. Doesn't have beautiful feature plus lazy? Hahh! It's Not a good combo y'all (╥﹏╥)
What's the problem with me when it comes to taking care of my skin or hair was, i'm only good on the first or third try, I can last for a week though. But after that, i'm done (✿‿), am I the only one who's like this? I love myself, really, but, when it comes to doing something for it, I am just not up for it. Another thing is, I have a bad posture. Mommy D is the one who tole me that, she noticed how my posture change and it doesn't look so good. As you can see on the screen shot above, mine is actually the posture in the middle and as you can see its a bad posture. That's why I feel more old.
I can finally share this here, haha. I don't feel like sharing this before because it looks ugly, haha. Like why I really look bad in there (≧▽≦), the posture, goodness! I should've adjust my neck because it looks like I din't have one. This looks worse now to be honest and this photo was from July this year. I think my posture worsen and this made me feel more old, lol. Hahhh, there's really a lot to change in myself right now. Should I make this as my New Years Resolution? But nahhh, nevermind ʘ‿ʘ
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When I look in the mirror, that's the time I become aware of my insecurities especially about my appearance. And with all that, I feel like I am more older than my original age. Thinking about it can be bad for my mental health so really, avoiding the mirror is my best solution for this. The good thing is, I am born lazy literally about everything so I can live the day or even months without looking in the mirror. I wear a facemask too whenever I go outside so, I don't need to look in the mirror.
So yeah, I feel like older because of my appearance and bad posture. I want to change, but, I am seriously too lazy and not capable as of the moment to do all that ʘ‿ʘ. Sorry self for I am also the reason why there's no "change." ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌
Lead Image Edited in Canva