Couple and Finances – LOH Contest # 145

Greetings beautiful Ladies of Hive Community. Today after several months, I have returned to participate in one of your wonderful contests, specifically for this week's edition, number 145. Here I share this week's invitation, and I invite Hive account@anggreklestari to participate.

Of the two questions posed, I decided to answer the second: Share your thoughts on women and their finances in a relationship or marriage, is it — or is it not — right to share the details of your finances with your spouse?

I know well that finances, money, constitute a delicate point in any relationship, and this is due to the lack of clarity that exists in this regard. Although money is a very powerful energy, which must be handled with great awareness, human beings generally make the mistake of assuming that everything related to money and finances is understood, and that is a serious mistake. It is also a mistake that many people, both men and women, think that there is nothing wrong with making use, without permission, of the financial resources of their partners and relatives, just because of trust or the existing degree of familiarity.

That is why, in my particular case, I try to make everything related to finances very clear from the beginning, and with regard to the relationship of a couple or marriage, I consider that it is very important, and I clarify something, I do not I consider myself a stingy or greedy person, but I do believe that it is something that should be clear and transparent, especially when more than one person participates in finances, as is the case in relationships. I have learned this by observing others and by own experience.

When I was young, I had a friend who was very wise and I knew that he liked me very much. He always advised me, and once told me:

“It is important that you always have your own reserve of money, a financial cushion that supports you in any bad situation. I tell you this, because women are always the ones who take care of the children, men do not always take responsibility for the children; and this is even natural, or have you seen a rooster with the chicks, a bull taking care of the calves or a horse taking care of the foals?

His comment was very shocking and macho to me when I heard it, but after analyzing it conscientiously, I understood that he was right, and not because this behavior is the most correct, but because it is the most common and widespread in Latin American societies, (I don't know in those of other countries); so I appreciated his advice, and I understood that he gave it to me because he appreciated me, and I also decided to put it into practice, trying to always have a private financial reserve, maybe not as big as I wanted, but something that could be useful in a contingency. Unfortunately, given the serious crisis in my country, this reserve disappeared years ago.

Now, although I have taken my friend's advice, I have always thought that couples are systems, and every system must work in synergy, with common values, goals and objectives, and must also share resources. That is why, with my husband, we have always managed money, credit cards and crypto assets together. We have considered saving to invest in certain things. To do this, we generally review the finances on a weekly basis, as this has allowed us to analyze them properly, although every day, with this serious crisis in my country, it becomes more complicated.

And to answer the question posed in a concrete way, I think that, like all aspects of human life, even in a relationship, there must always be a certain degree of privacy. I think it is essential to share details of common finances in a couple relationship, because this allows for transparency and fluidity in their management; but each of the members of the couple must have their reserve, their portion of money to use, without implying that they stop covering household expenses. Definitely, all extremes are bad, and it is necessary to maintain a fair balance in this aspect as well.