On this evening, eleven years go, I was preparing to welcome my second daughter earthside. I was living in a bus in Ireland at the time. Parked up at a friend's place,(well a place they were squatting) opposite the sea. I loved walking up early in the morning and going for walks along the beach. It was how I started that day.
I rose early and walked along the beach, until I got to some rocks on the other end, where I sat and had a few words with this little being I was carrying inside. According to my records I was already 2 weeks over my due date and my midwife had contacted me the previous evening yo say that I woukd have to go in for a checkup if the baby was not born very soon.
I felt fine and so did my baby, so I wasn't worried. But if I wanted to have an assisted homebirth, then I needed to follow the rules (which is something I struggle with). So that beautiful crisp November morning, I sat looking out to Sea and asked my baby, if they were ready to be born and if they were, then today would be a good day in which to do so.
As I close my eyes, that memory is still fresh in my mind, even though it was 11 years ago.
I walked back home, to where my daughter and her papa were just starting to rise. I made breakfast, which I'm almost certain was porridge and set about my day. By hate afternoon, I began to experience some lower back pain and I knew that my baby was on its way.
My midwife phoned me to say that I would have to come to the hospital the next day for a check up, I said no I won't be, because I was almost certain that my little one would be born before that.
She was at another birth at the time, so she told me to keep her updated. As this was my second child, I kind of knew what to expect and my midwife trusted my judgement, which inturn allowed me to trust her. Which is so important during birth, especially if you want s natural birth. If a woman doesn't feel safe during birth, her body them sends messages to the baby that the environment she is in, is not safe and then the baby will not wish to be born. Both her body and the baby's, creating hormones that mimic those for our survivial and certainly not for birth.
Environment is so important, the place, the people present, the whole setting. There is a reason why animals tend to hide away for birth. Near the end of pregnancy, we women experience what is called "nesting". We are told that it is our body telling us to prepare a place for our baby once they are born. But really it's to prepare our birthing space.
But as women are told to birth in hospital, the monetise the whole nesting experience, by trying to sell us all these things that babies need. But all they need is to be close to their mama. But there is no money to be made in that, so instead they push all this stuff on us, stuff that actually promotes the separation of the mother and baby. Something, that really breaks my heart to see.
I believe that it is important for the mother and baby to be together most of the time, especially until they beckme more mobile. I've wore all three of my babies and yes you may think that, it was easy for me because I choose to stay at home. That I didn't have to work in order to support the family. But I also chose to live in a way, that doesn't have much expenses. That gave me the freedom to be with my girls, to see them grow up.
My life has been far from easy, but it has been rewarding. Some people like to romanticise off grid living.
But it's not easy, it takes a lot of work on a daily basis to make it work. As my girls grow and their needs change, then so too do I. I'm working more within my community, to make sure that I can meet all their needs. Whilst also being present for them.
It all comes down to the choices we make and hopefully we follow our intuition.
