Today I celebrated my ten year old daughter. She was super excited, to finally reach double digits, she has been counting down the days for months now. She has certainly built it up, I think because she really wants to catch up with her big sis, who turned 13 in the summer. Someone she really looks up to, even if she likes to deny it.
My eldest has already began having conversations with me, about moving out of home. Starting her own life, which of course is exciting, but damn if it isn't a difficult one for me to swallow.
I have had to begin the process, of letting go and it's not easy.
But today was about my middle daughter, who is really blossoming before my eyes. She has been through a lot, she is so sensitive and feels everything so deeply. Watching her navigate her way, when me and her father split and then during her aunties passing,
was difficult.
She was just 5 going on 6, an age where it is really hard to understand where all theses emotions are coming from. Let alone, know how to deal with them. It's so hard to see your children in pain and not really be able to do anything about it.
Especially when that child, really wants to just do things themselves. They end trying to push you away and then we have to realize that the best thing we can do, is just give them some space. When all we want to do is fix things.
She has certainly been one of my greatest teachers. I have felt so challenged at times, simply because of the expectations I had of myself, as a parent, of being able to fix things. To make everything okay. But in doing that, I take away the opportunity for her to start making things better for herself, which she so desperately wanted.
Taking a step back, so that I can really see her blossom, full view. Empowering her, as I be there to hold her, to guide her, when she reached out.
Today, she is bubbling with creativity. Drawing at any opportunity she gets, reading, writing. Finding many ways in which she can express herself. She always has a pen and some paper in her hands, these days. And she loves to show me her many creations.
The last few years, since I have been a part of this community, I would usually share her birth experience. With each year, deepening my awareness, bringing with it a different perspective. It's really good to remember that magical night, where she came into this world just a stone's throw away from the sea.
Where she would have been born on the beach, if it wasn't for her big sister asking for us to go home. I found it odd, that she would want to leave the moonlight beach. But if she hadn't, I don't think I would have made it back to the bell tent where she was born.
So my beautiful girl turned 10 today, so wise beyond her years. I can not wait to see the teenager and then woman, that she will grow into and the path that she will follow. She is a force, such a powerful, creative force, which is exactly what the world needs.
