At this exact time, 9 years ago, my second child was born. I was super excited to bring a little sister or brother earthside for my daughter, just as she was, to have one. My youngest loved to sing to my belly and was delighted when she got a reaction from her then future sibling who was, super cosy inside. We could sit for ages, watching in fascination, as my stomach took on all sorts of different shapes.
Me and my eldest, connecting with, our soon to be, newest member of the family.
It was always a guessing game, trying to decide what body part was actually making my belly so pointy. Sometimes it was easy to guess, especially if it was a foot. It felt really beautiful to have these moments with my children, one of whom was still in utero. We were all so excited to meet, the new member of our family and as the 40 weeks drew closer we spend ages trying to imagine what she or he would look like.
And then the day arrived, I woke up early before my ex and my daughter and went for a walk on the beach, with our then canine companion Dubh. I sat on some rocks jutting out to sea and told my baby that today would be a good day to be born, the sun was shinning and there was little, to no wind.
A few days previously, there had been very high winds and I was up at 5a.m trying to prevent my birthing space, which was a bell tent, from blowing away! It was pretty intense, but in the end it was all okay. We had erected an wind barrier, but being next to the coast, the winds can often be gale force and you would need to have put metal rods deep into the ground, which we did not have access to. But like I said it all turned out good in the end, beside getting trenched, from the down pour that was happening at the same time..
Our set up, you can see the makeshift wind barrier behind the bell tent. You can also see how close I was to the sea. Lucky me!
After sitting for an hour, enjoying the silence and the time to reflect and connect with my baby, I made my way back to the bus, where my ex and my daughter were stirring. I told them both that I thought today was going to be the day, that our newest family member would arrive. We were all very excited, at this point.
And sure enough, a few hours later, I was convinced, that my little one was going to be born at some point in that day or early morning. I was experiencing mild lower back pain, and knew that they had begun to move and make their descend.
I really, just wanted to move most of time and luckily the weather held, so I spend the day outside walking, stopping every now and again to sway my hips. Before I knew it, it was almost evening and the temperature was dropping, I decided to go inside, but when I did, things intensified and I really just had this strong urge to keep walking and go back out doors.
The set up inside the bell tent, this was also where I had my mother blessing a few weeks earlier, there was some wonderful energy within that tent and I spend many hours each day, connecting with myself and my baby in the lead up to her birth.
I remember pushing past my ex as I exited the bus, exclaiming that I need to go to the beach. So off I went with my ex, my eldest daughter and Dubh. It felt so good to hear the ocean and to catch the last glimpse of the waves before the sun went down.
We got halfway down the beach, when my daughter said," I think we should go home". I was very surprised as usually she never wants to leave it, I really didn't want to and convinced her to keep walking, by singing some songs together. After about 5 minutes, she said it again and this time she was very insistent.
So we turned around and just like that I felt my baby drop, really drop, as though she might be born at any minute. Suddenly I wanted to be back home. my partner put his arm around me and we started to walk back.Then I really needed to go to the toliet, lucky there wer public toilets close, so I went there and felt like I was emptying my body out.
I took this picture just before we left for the beach, I am quite impressed by that to be honest!
I knew my baby would soon arrive. I remember focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and then suddenly I was there, next to the outdoor fire which was lit and which was positioned beneath our outdoor bath, the bath that was being used to heat up water, for the water pool in the bell tent. At this point I was on all fours, I found a stool and lay against it, as I took my shoes and socks off, I really wanted to feel my feet on the earth. (Thinking back now, it must of been pretty cold by now in Ireland, being November and all).
Then I was mooing, as my ex was busy trying to fill the pool and inform my midwife that the baby was on the way. She lives close by, which was pretty handy I must say. She went to set up in the bell tent, which had a heater inside and then when she was ready she came to get me. I remember I couldn't walk, so I crawled in.
Then things, really started to get intense, which I imagine was because I was moved. My beautiful daughter was born 10 minutes later, as I held onto the outside of the pool squatting.
A photo from inside the bell tent, on the day of my mother blessing, I spend so much time decorating it, and I loved ever minute of it. My ex made me the candle holder from a bike wheel. I was super impressed with that!
My eldest daughter, had gone to watch a movie with a friend who also lived on the land, we were parked up on. When my baby was delivered earthside, I asked that she be brought back over. Those first few moments, when you get to see your daughters eyes, when they are born. The sheer force of the love you feel for them, it blows you away and then to witness sisters meeting for the first time, it was pure magic and my heart swelled all over again!
I lost quite a lot of blood after the birth, but not enough to have to go to hospital. After a while, I crawled from the bell tent to our bus and climbed into bed with my new baby, another daughter that I named after the sea.
I love to recall my daughters birth stories, they are all so different and bring back so many amazing memories and emotions. As I look into her eyes now, 9 years later, that force of love has grown, even though I could never imagine, it could have. I am super blessed to have such an amazing daughter, who has been one of my greatest teachers and whom I am extremely proud of.