Hello ladies, hope today has been fruitful. It's a rainy afternoon here, so I'm keeping safe to avoid any sickle cell pain crisis, as I was drenched in the rain while returning home from my physiotherapy clinic.
Just a while ago, I was staring at the unpainted ceiling in my room, listening to the sound of raindrops, distant yet near. I was deep in thought when a phone call suddenly pulled me back to reality.
It was a call from one of my exes. Hmmm. Sometimes, I even get confused about my marital status. Should I say I’m married on paper? All I know is that I’ve been separated for two years and two months now.
I won’t go into those details today, but let’s say sickle cell was part of that journey. These past two years have taken me to my lowest points, moments where I felt the world was against me.
And when I began finding the strength to piece my life together again, guess what? I started receiving calls from two of my exes and even bumped into one. And your guess is as good as mine: they’re all married.
Now, I'm not sure what to call it, and I'm not certain if it's just a coincidence. I don’t quite understand what the universe is trying to say, but I know one thing for sure — I know what I want for myself.
The first one I bumped into has always been obsessed with me. He still is, I think. He even said he wouldn’t mind making me his second wife because, according to him, I “ran away” from being his first eleven years ago.
Then, about a month later, I started receiving messages from another — my first love. We parted ways years ago because our genotypes weren’t compatible. These days, all he does is chat and reminisce about the good old days. Nothing more.
Unlike the two, the third one, who called out of the blue two weeks ago, hasn’t made his intentions clear. And honestly, I keep wondering if everything is okay with me or them!
I’ve been deep in thought, trying to make sense of it all — what fate is weaving — but one thing I know is that I can only offer platonic friendship to all three. This point in my life feels too critical to risk old patterns.
Life has taught me that fulfilling purpose as a woman is not all about marriage and certainly not tied to it, no matter what society says or makes us believe in the African setting or as African women.
Through the storms of a broken marriage and the challenges of sickle cell, I’ve found purpose, something to live for, something that was always within me but never truly seen.
Sickle cell didn’t have to take so much from me to reveal my destiny, but it is what it is.
The hard way, life has taught me that failing to walk in purpose puts lots of lives, people of my kind ( sickle cell warriors), in jeopardy; therefore, I have dared to be the difference of my kind to be the hope of my kind and be part of the voice that dares to end sickle cell disorder and its menace.
I’m aware of my needs, even the sexual ones society tags as taboo for a single mother like me. But for now, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make, because I can see light at the end of the tunnel. And no one, absolutely no one, will take me back to my past. #Imove
Thanks for stopping by. Thank God it’s Friday — enjoy your weekend! 💛