When I was younger, in high school, I represented my school in a breast cancer awareness competition. I still remember how nervous I was standing in front of all those people, talking about something that, at the time, I barely understood. I spoke about early detection, self-examination, and mammograms, words that sounded so distant back then, but now hit differently.
Years later, here I am again, thinking about the same topic. But this time, I want to talk about something bigger, how limited research on women’s health actually is.
And honestly? I can’t help but ask, is it intentional? Because sometimes, it feels like it is.
Let’s talk about sexual and reproductive health, for instance. Every time I read medical studies or health research updates, I notice a pattern, women’s health issues are often brushed aside, delayed, or underfunded. From painful menstrual conditions like endometriosis to menopause, everything takes years to be understood or taken seriously. And when they finally get studied, the research is mostly led by men, written by men, and centered on perspectives that don’t even reflect our lived realities.
Why?
Why is the female body always a mystery, even to science? Why is there so much pressure for us to adapt to medications, hormones, and procedures that barely get long-term testing on women’s actual experiences?
Let’s talk about birth control.
I’m sorry, but I’m tired. I’m tired of how all the options seem to cage women. Pills, patches, injections, implants, IUDs… everything is designed to control something that naturally belongs to us. And meanwhile, the only option available for men is either a condom or a vasectomy, one too unreliable, the other too extreme.
And still, somehow, it’s the women who get blamed when contraception “fails.”
They’ve made it look like our options are more affordable and “normal,” but they don’t talk about the long-term effects. They don’t talk about the hormonal imbalances, the mood swings, the depression, the unexplained weight gain or loss, the changes to our bodies that sometimes never reverse.
I once watched someone I know, let's call her a friend, suffer terribly because of an IUD. It was supposed to be “safe.” That’s what they said. But month after month, she had unbearable cramps. She couldn’t sleep properly. Every cycle felt like punishment. When they finally removed it, she developed an infection. It was painful, physically and emotionally. She told me she felt betrayed by her own body.
And I don’t blame her. Because that’s how it feels sometimes, like the world keeps asking women to sacrifice, to endure, to take it all in stride. The kind of sacrifice women go through is not emphasized enough. They think it's only about pregnancy and childbirth birth but lol, do these people even REALLY know the risks involved in this beautiful experience?
And no, before anyone comes at me, I’m not a feminist waving a placard and chanting on the street (though shout-out to the ones who do). I’m just someone who notices. I know men suffer too. I know prostate cancer exists. I know men also get breast cancer. But that’s not the point. The point is, why is there so little effort to understand women beyond the surface?
Even menopause, oh God, menopause. Why is there not enough open discussion about it? Why is it still treated like some secret suffering women have to endure in silence? Do you know how many women are out there struggling with hot flashes, insomnia, bone pain, mood swings, and still show up to work, take care of homes, lead teams, raise children, and smile in pictures?
We’re taught to endure. Always. But not enough is done to relieve us.
Now, let’s circle back to why October is called Pink Month; Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
If there’s one thing that speech I gave in high school taught me, it’s that awareness truly saves lives. I remember my teacher then saying, “Your hand could save your life someday.” I didn’t understand what she meant until later.
So let me share what I was taught, and what I still practice. Here’s how to do a simple breast self-exam at home:
Lie flat on your back (without a bra).
Raise your right hand and place it behind your head.
Use the fingers of your left hand to press and massage your right breast gently in circular motions. Cover every part, even towards your armpit area.
Switch sides and repeat for the left breast.
If you notice any lump, swelling, or unusual pain, don’t panic, but don’t ignore it either. Go to the nearest hospital or clinic immediately.
We once did this jokingly back in school, and one of my friends actually discovered a small lump. It turned out to be non-cancerous, but the doctor said it had started growing. They had it removed early. That little “joke” saved her life.
So please, my dear ladies, check yourselves. Remind your sisters, mothers, and friends to check too. Early detection truly matters.
And while we’re at it, let’s talk a little about maintaining good sexual health in general:
Regular gynecological check-ups aren’t just for when something feels wrong. Schedule them at least once a year.
Listen to your body. Pain isn’t normal just because it’s common.
If you’re sexually active, get tested. Protect yourself, not just from pregnancies but from infections too.
And if you’re using birth control, make sure it’s one that truly works for you. Don’t just take what’s prescribed without understanding it.
Eat well, drink water, and rest. Your body isn’t a machine, it’s your home. Don't "normalize" pain, please.
I know I sound passionate, maybe even angry, but I am. Because it hurts. It hurts to see how women’s bodies are constantly experimented on, regulated, and misunderstood. It hurts to see how something as natural as menstruation is still treated like taboo. It hurts to know that so many women suffer quietly, brushing it off as “just cramps” or “just hormones,” when in reality, their bodies are screaming for attention.
This, my dear ladies, is my two cents for this month. Forgive me if my opinions trigger anyone, it’s not my intention. I just think we deserve better. Better research, better care, better understanding, and better compassion.
Because if we don’t speak up, who will?
October reminds us to wear pink, yes, but more importantly, it reminds us to pay attention. To our bodies. To our health. To each other.
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In Response to Ladies of Hive Community Contest #258. All Images are from Unsplash.com
Thank you for reading. 🧡