Today we left for a midweek holiday, at the end of summer, to be refreshed together with the children before the new school year begins. Our destination is Reims, not too far to drive, though we deliberately kept the trip short because of my daughter’s back. It has been eight years since we last went away for more than just a weekend. That fact alone makes this journey special. The reality that we are now traveling with a wheelchair also painfully shows how much our world has changed in such a short time. After an exhausting year, it was necessary to find some space for our thoughts, to step away from the daily worries, and to breathe again. And maybe to post more on Hive, I hope people do understand why I’ve been so quiet here for the last months.
The harsh fact
For my daughter, this year has been very heavy. After a long period of rehabilitation, she faced another injury during rehabilitation. The message that pain will be a permanent part of her life hit hard, because there was severe nerve damage. The prospect that walking will no longer be possible remains perhaps the hardest truth to witness as a parent. It changes you to see how quickly perspectives shift. Yet this was exactly why we wanted to leave, because sometimes you need to escape that spiral of worries and sadness. Being in another place helps you not only to carry the weight but also to continue to notice the beauty of life.
Trying to get some space back
Our journey actually began with another trip, to Aachen, where we attended the Hive Summit. After that we mostly slept, packed, and prepared for Reims. Here we rented a little house in a small French village. The house is simple, rustic, and quiet, with a small terrace and a large wild garden that stretches to a stream. It feels like a place where time slows down. Where silence is not emptiness but creates space to find yourself again. This evening we sat outside and looked up at the stars. That simple act gave us the trust that we will always find a way forward, together. Why I felt the need to get away is about more than just relaxation.
Maintaining family bonds is important and natural, but when bad news enters your life, it becomes almost a lifeline. Supporting each other is essential. Not only to offer comfort but also to see that the world keeps turning. It may sound banal, but the realization that life goes on beyond our own circle of worries can have a healing effect. From a psychological perspective, such experiences help the brain remember that there is more than pain and loss. The brain tends to get stuck in patterns of stress and sorrow. By deliberately stepping out of that context, the neural networks get room to store new experiences and positive impressions. This works as a counterweight to everything that feels heavy.
Why it is important for young adults
For children and young adults around the age of eighteen to twenty this plays an even greater role. At this stage of life, they are shaping their identity and future. When a family faces something so drastic, like illness or disability, they are confronted with existential questions that usually come later in life. Their brains are still developing as well. Especially the front part of the brain, responsible for planning, decision making, and regulating emotions, does not fully mature until those years. This makes them both vulnerable and yet capable of developing resilience quickly, provided they have the right support and connection within the family.
That is exactly why I felt it was necessary to be away together, to let them experience that in spite of everything, there can be moments of peace, beauty, and connection. Now that we are here, in the silence of a French village, I feel how important this decision has been. We know that difficult times will remain, that the pain will not disappear, but we choose to create moments that are bigger than that pain. Sitting together under the stars, listening to the water flowing through the garden, or simply sharing a quiet moment, these are the anchors we can return to. They give us the trust that, however heavy it sometimes is, we will always find a way to move forward.