Path from Confusion to a Built System
My two-year anniversary of living with nerve damage is here. And the funny thing is, I have only actually known for one year that it was nerve damage.
The first year was just a murky mess. I did not know what was happening or why my body was behaving the way it was. But I did know something was wrong with my jaw. That much was undeniable. I just did not understand what was causing it, what triggered it, or what it meant. There was pain, confusion, and a constant sense that something was off, without any clear explanation.
But this story is not about that confusion. This story is about something else entirely.
It is about how difficult it is to manage a body that does not really speak to you.
It gives symptoms, yes. Signals. Reactions. Warnings.
But it never tells you directly what caused the problem. And nerve damage… well, nerve damage is a bitch.
🎯 Becoming an Investigator
There are so many variables that can trigger pain. You do not get instructions. You get consequences. So you have to become an investigator. You learn to observe patterns. You study cause and effect. You try to identify the root of each flare so you can avoid repeating it.
✅ My Specific Triggers
And my triggers? It is a long list. Spices. Salt. Sugar. Artificial sweeteners. Food colorings. Food preservatives. Caffeine. Alcohol. Food that is too hard to chew. Poor sleep. Not eating often enough.
It is complex. Constant. Sometimes exhausting.
📍 The Latest Lesson: Turkey Meat
But I built a system. And still, it is not perfect.
Last night, while eating dinner, my jaw suddenly informed me that we were done. No more chewing today. Just like that. I was confused because I had not had that kind of reaction in a long time. So the diagnostic process began, the familiar internal investigation. Did I sleep badly? Did I eat something I should not have? Did I irritate it without realizing?
Today’s answer was simple. I irritated it accidentally.
Turkey meat.
Turkey is hard to chew. Pair it with vegetables that are also hard to chew, repeat the same meal two days in a row, and my jaw says a very firm no. Then come the symptoms. All of them. None of them fun.
🧠 Continuous Learning and Adaptation
But every flare teaches something.
Yes, it is a lot. Yes, it is difficult to manage.
Even though the system still has gaps. Even though my body still surprises me. Even though learning never really stops.
This flare taught me something practical. If I want turkey, I need to cook it slowly and gently for a long time. Make it soft. Because crunchy food and I simply do not coexist anymore.
But softness changes everything.
I can still eat the foods I love. They just need to meet me where my body is now.
And that, I suppose, is what two years of nerve damage has really taught me.
My body may not speak in words. But if I listen carefully enough, it still tells me how to live with