Do you experience confidence issues? If so, don't fret. You’re not alone. I do have issues with confidence and so does everyone else. The truth is that we all need confidence in our lives because it gives us essence. But the question always is;
How can I develop confidence in every aspect of my life?
In this article, we’ll be unraveling the 7 habits of confident people spoken of by Jay Shetti and also how to incorporate these routines into your life to boost your confidence.
#1 CONQUER THEIR PAST
Confident people start by walking through their past. Our anxiety and insecurity frequently stem from our past experiences rather than from where we are right now. We just have this belief that whatever we’ve gone through, is totally our fault and we deserve the repercussions of that past event. However, confident people always try to view their past from the right perspective and make sense out of it. They learn whatever they can from it and that gives them the impetus to face their future.
For me, the only difference between my past and now is experience. I have thought about my mistakes, my failures and I saw that it was necessary because what I know now was different from what I knew then and no matter how I wish I knew it back then, it makes no difference because it is impossible.
We just have to understand that some things happened in the past for a reason and through experience comes wisdom. As the famous film actor Sacha Guitry says:
“Our wisdom comes from our experience, and our experience comes from our foolishness”.
So, connect your past to your present to increase your confidence. Find out the origins of and rationale for the beliefs and behaviors in your life. If they are not helpful, consider how you can avoid them or use them in worthwhile ways.
#2 CONSTRUCT A HIGH VALUE SKILL
[source](Photo by aisvri on Unsplash)
Majority of the times when we don’t feel confident, is as a result of the fact that we feel we don’t have something to offer. And that we don’t have in value. But the truth is that everyone has something to offer. So one of the ways to gain confidence is to develop or construct a high value skill. It can be singing, photography, programming, video editing or writing if you may. By building a high value skill and also mastering it, you learn to value yourself and refuse to let other people dictate your value.
#3 CONTINUOUS LEARNING
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Confident people learn continuously and because of that, they have something to say in every conversation. Most times, people lack the confidence to speak in public because they don’t know what to say or probably they have no idea about the topic being discussed. Confident people can initiate a conversation because they have lots of meaningful things to talk about and that’s because they learn all the time.
So, picking up a book you love, browsing through your google feeds, listening to podcasts and watching educational videos are ways of learning which in turn adds up to create a feeling that you’re doing something meaningful to improve your life. This habit is essential for building confidence.
#4 COMPASSION
Confident people have self-compassion. They don’t get overly worked up on things they can’t control. They understand that they can’t be perfect and because of that they are compassionate towards themselves. This allows them to develop empathy for others. They don’t judge others blindly just because they are better than them but they understand others' situations because they have passed through the same process so they know how hard it must be for that person.
When you are okay to be wrong, and to acknowledge that you don’t know something, yet, you’re willing to humble yourself to learn and research to expand your skills, it shows you have confidence and that you’re compassionate.
#5 CALMLY RESPOND
Confidence comes not from reacting fast but responding slowly. Confident people are always calm. They always look in control and of course they are in control. Sometimes, the people who speak last are the most confident people. They don’t waste words. They listen , process and give a calm response to comments and oftentimes, they are always respected because they say little but meaningful words.
#6 CERTAINTY
Confident people have a sense of certainty. A lot of times we don’t feel confident because we are constantly seeking validation from others. We constantly ruminate over what others will say or not say about our lives. We constantly ask people what they think about what we wear, abou our looks, about our career choices and just name it. Confidence is asking yourself these questions and answering them by yourself. You should have the certainty about doing the things you want even if it doesn’t align with what others want for you.
#7 COMPETENT PREPARATION
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This last point is supposed to be the most obvious one but I'm surprised that most people don't get it. There’s a relationship between adequate preparation and confidence. Kobe Bryant, one of the best basketball players in the history of the N.B.A mentioned “Confidence comes from preparation. When the game is on the line, I’m not asking myself to do something I haven’t done a thousand times before”. People who practice a lot, always have genuine confidence. Lack of adequate preparation leads to fear and fear is a confidence killer.
I believe that if you implement these tips in your life, then you’ll begin to feel a great sense of self-worth which in turn brings true confidence.
Thanks for your time.
Remember, you have greatness in you.