Have you ever thought of confessing more than once or twice a year? Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd go to confession 4x times a month, ever. But here I am, one year later and counting. I actually enjoy and am delighted or sometimes even excited whenever it's time to confess my sins. 😀
Are you like me or do you shirk from confessing to a priest/pastor? Well, can you think of what kind of confession experiences I've gone thru?
Confessing As a Teen Was Just Meh
I first learned about the Sacrament of Confession when I was already in high school. We were taught the basics of how to confess and then we all did it one by one. Being in a Catholic school of course we would also go to First Friday mass every month, have religion classes and assignments, etc. (Unfortunately they didn't teach us about any kind of devotion, like to the Sacred Heart, etc. Sad.)
However I don't remember how many times we went to confession because we only went when we were told. Or because it was a school requirement or something. Perhaps I went once or twice in my entire high school life? It's all a blur now since I didn't care much about such things back then. You know, the lukewarm cradle Catholic life is just meh and going with the flow when it comes to religious activities.
All I remember is on the first occasion I think we did it in a confession box in church. On the next occasion many of my classmates heard my sins. Hahahaha. The feeling of shame when I came out and learned they heard some of what I said. Well of course the room wasn't soundproof and the priest wasn't as holy as priests should be.
Okay, okay, I'm judging him but it's true!!! He was a "sinful" parish priest and I never really liked him at all. And so I don't think I even liked confessing because of the way it was done and the person I'm telling my sins to. (This is why it is important to pray for all clergy.)
So anyway, after high school I stopped going because it was no longer a school requirement. Our family wasn't devout so I didn't think I needed to do it regularly at all. But sometimes I do think of going but I never do. One time I did go and here's where the story starts...
Newbie Confessant Adventures: Mistakes Most People Won't Tell You
Of course since my spiritual renewal in 2023 I finally have an appreciation and sort of a fondness to Confession. I already prefer to go as often as possible. Just seeing a lighted confession box would even make me wanna go in! Lol. (Of course I won't if I have already done it during the weekend.)
To truly be spiritually cleansed you will never be ashamed nor have fears in enumerating your sins to be forgiven by Jesus! You'd gladly and quickly spill it to the Lord and ask for his mercy too! It's scarier to go to hell and never feel God's presence forever due to our sins.
Anyway, let me tell you the top 3 wrong practices I did after high school until I was confessing weekly since last year. Heck, nobody tells you these things so of course I had to learn it on my own! Whew. I mean, if you don't come from (1) a devout family, (2) are lukewarm or cold in the faith and (3) don't have a good catechist, chances are you'd be like me: ignorant of these things.
Can you guess what happened?
1. Scolded by a priest 👀
The first time I really attempted to confess after many years since I graduated from high school was not great at all. 😆 I tried but it only discouraged me. Why? I got "scolded" when I tried to confess.
Like, why the heck would I wanna go back unprepared when the priest told me I wasn't even repentant during confession? Even if I sorta wanted to confess, I went there and blundered at the start then I got a scolding for it. Dang. 😂
The priest wasn't helpful at all too. Didn't even tell me what I should do to make a proper confession. And so after being reprimanded and not really given instructions on how to do it the right way, I never tried again.
Not because I abhorred it or anything but because I didn't feel like I should go anymore. Why go when you're not repentant of almost anything? (Tepid Catholic alert! Haha.) And so I unknowingly kept committing sacrilege for more than a decade whenever I would take communion during mass. 😢💔 Ignorance is not bliss!
👉 Lesson: Always prepare yourself before going to confession. Research on how to do it properly if you've forgotten the procedure. Never forget to do a thorough examination of conscience before availing of this sacrament. And be truly repentant before confessing!
2. "Priest Hopping," Anyone? ⛪
Okay, I don't advise anyone to do this but out of ignorance, convenience and for the heck of it I did this a lot last year. Finally after more than a decade since I was scolded I eventually confessed the right way! I did a thorough or general confession around Lent 2023 and wow. Felt great afterwards that I wanted to do it again and again.
That's when I decided to do it weekly, probably as compensation to the number of years I didn't go. I of course went to three to four different churches in our city depending on the day, time and my availability and preference. There were different priests at each church based on various time slots too. Mostly I never knew who I'd get in each of the parishes.
Why did I keep doing it? Well I wanted to get advise from all sorts of priests, thinking that would be better. Variety is the spice of life, so they say, right?
However after all the "priest hopping" I did, I eventually got the sense that I should just focus on one church and confessor. Somehow I believe it's what I got from praying the rosary daily and Mama Mary's guidance too. I also read about it online from legitimate Catholic sources. So when I stopped (except when really necessary), it indeed felt way better than going all over the place.
👉 Lesson: Being guided via spiritual direction is different from confessing of sins. If we are looking for guidance to grow spiritually and be more sanctified then better ask the parish office/s or priest himself if he is open to be a spiritual director.
3. Scrupulosity is NOT the Key ❌
I never thought it was wrong to be scrupulous until I was getting some kind of resistance from some priests. One of them told me to confess again after one month. I thought that was crazy. Why would any priest turn a confessant away from weekly confession? That got me a little paranoid and anxious for a month. Lol.
Two or three more priests would tell me what I was confessing were all venial sins and that those could be forgiven in various ways outside of confession. The last priest to tell me I was actually being scrupulous was the last straw. I then had to read up on scrupulosity and learned that even exorcist priest Fr. Ripperger says not to be like that.
Oh well. Case closed then. We must avoid being scrupulous nor act on our OCD tendencies when confessing!
👉 Lesson: Always follow whatever the priest says during confession. Do the penance and any advise they give if they do so because they are in 'persona Christi'. On a side note, the Code of Canon Law says we are obliged to confess the type and frequency of all grave/mortal sins. That is not scrupulosity in itself but being thorough to admit all sins to God which is a must. Even St. John Bosco says "demon cats" prevent us from confessing everything in genuine sorrow and firm resolve to not sin again thus causing humans to fall from grace. Meaning, be thorough and concise, confess frequently but avoid scrupulosity.
I can also write all the amazing things I learned from frequent confession but that's a topic for another day. 😁
So which one have you done or even thought about too? Care to share your wrong or maybe even "funny" experiences during confession? Feel free to comment!
Related posts:
• The Devil Rejoices Whenever People Do Not Confess To Priests
• Non-Catholic Christians Also Confess to Priests or Pastors?