Halfway through May, I found myself in a state of emotional turmoil. It all started with just feeling so tired during the start of May and I thought I would get through it however my body just gave in to this immense heaviness of energy that has flowed through me. This caused me to be in a mental fog, with body aches and pain, and an emotional wreck most of the time.
Every time I would feel such, I would check in with the energy influx through the Schumann resonance charts. Most of the time my energies would match with the highs and lows of the energies bombarding our planet. Some might think this is weird and some would understand why but I became recently acquainted with my higher self who is an empath and an energy sponge. And the past month, the energy was just so intense! I couldn't ground myself and meditate. It was a struggle for me. I was lost.
But I knew I had to listen to my body, listen to what it is asking me to do. And that is to move with the energies and rest!
When we say move with the energies, it means to flow with them - the good, the bad, the high, the low, the light, and the heavy ones. To truly feel and not resist them. In the past, I would set aside the low or negative emotions in one box because I don't want to feel them, let alone acknowledge them which ended up exploding over the past couple of months. Processing these emotions was something new and hard to do but during the start of this year, I've been able to let go of most of them, especially the big ones.
Rest - This word made me ponder what it truly means for me. From the start of my formative years up to 2021, I realized I've been on autopilot trying to achieve success and just surviving. Yes, there were moments of pure bliss when I get to do the things that make me joyful but the past years of my life were just trial and error! A life of trying to achieve this and that because this was what society and my parents dictated, a life of trying to fulfill dreams that were not mine. This made me so controlling and tense in all aspects of my life. This showed in my uptight shoulders that both my dance teacher and boxing coach would find it hard to teach me to relax.
In the end, I had to decide to let go of the city life for a while and retreat to our beach home up north of Cebu where I had spent most of my childhood summer days at. However, before doing so I just had to go ahead and chop my hair off. Well, this thought has been creeping at the back of my mind during the start of this emotional roller coaster ride. I was waiting for my birthday to do this but I wanted to start fresh once I leave the city.
Just a day before I was bound to leave, I scheduled a coffee date with 
good great hands. When I finally looked in the mirror, I couldn't contain my big smile. And somehow, it made me feel lighter.
My cool side. 😂
A week into living the beach life and I was feeling better. Although I was still having a hard time meditating and connecting to the other side, nature helped me heal.
Waking up to the sound of the birds singing,
Swimming into the waves of the sea,
Walking barefoot on the grass and sand,
Watching sunsets with Osiris,
Star gazing into the night sky,
and lots and lots of sleep!
I don't have permanent plans yet but living here was a good great idea! I might just ditch the city life for good but we shall see.
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