I'm a lazy bum. I felt so unproductive for a couple of weeks now. I got a pile of workload to finish, but then chose not to work on them, for nothing. I am just on my couch, slouching like there's none to do, feelin' the gloom the weather poured.
However, my brain is enthusiastic, it thinks so much - finish this, finish that, do this, do that. It's busy. But it never had convinced this lazy ass up. And If I'm to count the number of hours I slept after work? It exceeded the normal range that normal people usually spend for sleep. Well I am not saying I'm not normal, but yes. . .
I got a mountain of clothes to fold, and that is not usual of me. It's been two weeks that I keep junking newly cleaned clothes in the corner, and act like they are not very much visible. I got a tiny room to at least sweep and dust off every day, but I'm like not even bothered by the cobwebs starting to form, hanging undisturbed. I got paperwork to accomplish, but it seems like "I'll do it tomorrow" is limitless and endless as If I don't have deadlines to beat. I even seem to forget my before-bed routine - washing and freshening up, I just go and lay on my back, extend my spine, and sleep as if the mind is peaceful empty.
I know I am not the usual "Me". I am maybe just tired of that usual, or just too overwhelmed with the tasks that are never-ending. Or both mayhap? Well whatever that is, the bottom line is, I lost track. And that is certainly what I feel.
* * *
It's weekend, the weather is as bad as what I feel. It's pouring sadness, causing laziness, and making me stay to where I am for two weeks unproductive. The best friend called, inviting me for a quick road trip to anywhere the wheels would take us to. I refused as hard as I could, for the reason that I'm not too well, emotionally. I know I am just feeding the feeling, making me bottle myself up in a scene where I have control over.
I get up, dress up, and drive to fetch my best friend to where she is. My playlist is on, playing the songs I called "life music". I am on a road trip, a place I am not supposed to be in this day. I see a clear picture of myself lying on my couch, scrolling my phone, watching randoms - the very place I should be in at the moment.
The best friend keeps talking about kinds of stuff, her work, side hustle, and everything random. I listen, but not attentively. I share some of mine too tho.
We've crossed the bridge, like literally a bridge that connects our city to the other. The road is dry. And it's getting hotter. I put off my jacket, fix my hair, and there, start to release and let go of the hard feeling and negative emotions that are like swallowing me up. I am too much consumed dwelling in these emotions I could just shake off.
We have reached IL Corso at Cebu City, we stop and fill our growling stomach. I have pizza from Butterbean, and some sweet tooth too.
We stay on the bench fronting the ocean. It's shedding calm and peaceful vibes. It's a breath of fresh air, something therapeutic, mentally and emotionally.
I sit quietly, trying to rewire my brain composedly. First time on this day, I initiate a convo on everything random, and start to gain back my normal bubbly self.
We head home. I am on the passenger seat. The best friend drives. The music is on again, playing one of my favorite songs "Grace" by Laura Story. I'm like having a karaoke carpool. I sing my heart out. I have fun!
The sky is getting grey. It starts to drizzle. The rain is coming our way. It rained as I left home, and it rains again as I am heading home. But this is a perfect weather, I mean it has become a perfect weather for me now - to rest, recharge, and reset - all to fully gain the self back.
