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A few months ago, I had been asked to attend an EAP because of a very hurtful betrayal. I am not coping well at work and in my personal life. That's where I met Zac, a staff member. In the course of our conversations, he told me that, sometimes, we can only live with the consequences and whatever that may be, we need to learn and accept living with that.
He proceeded to tell me about his personal life where he has to escape a difficult life alone from his original country to Australia, live with the fact that he is all alone , made a life for himself. At that time that we are having that conversation, I just cannot see out of the tunnel. I am very much bent on avenging myself for all the wrong things that happened to me.
I am glad that I did not act on those impulse. I am where I am because of that conscious decision to live, detaching myself to whatever that creature destroyed.
Was that forgiveness? Was that acceptance? I want to call it as survival. If I did proceed to avenge me on that person, then, I will face the consequences. I have not forgotten what that creature did to me. I have not forgotten what I have lost. I certainly did not lose the picture of what would have been or what I would have become.
Accompanied by my decision to move on is the thrill of seeing things come to life- unexpectedly from whatever I can salvage.
Sometimes, its not always about forgiveness. Its not about forgetting. Often, its just about survival that makes us turn away from those who have truly hurt us and start building with the debris.
I will certainly will not want to be part of that person's life in any capacity- even in a casual or professional capacity. There are just some boundaries that should not be crossed.
