May your coffee be strong, and your day be beautiful! Good day, Hives! It's me again, Ace26, your Gwapo (handsome) blogger from the Philippines.
The shame, the regrets, the pain and the disgust you feel about yourself have brought you to a point where you simply cannot see a way out.
You might argue that everybody, including you, would be better off without you. the truth is that your feelings are now a reflection of many layers of pain.
It feels difficult to think that you should have to bear this pain any longer or that you would have to continue to exist with feelings of shame and guilt. They are wildly unpleasant.
I forgot the worth of the people surrounding me and what was important to me. This past week, I reflected on myself as I looked at clouds. They are empty, just like me.
I ask myself why I ended up like this I put my family in a hard time, I put aside my kids just for my selfish temporary happiness, and I was blinded by things that made my family slowly ruin.
What really life is?
Some say it should be happy, life should be enjoyed because it's not permanent, and should be cherished, but why it's not the way it is?
For you, What life is?
How do you look up to your life?
As I sat down on the grass together with my family, watching those fireworks in the sky, it sank in my mind that life is my family and I should fix myself for them I should be.
It's never too late right? Could my wife forgive me, or if they still love me, the same love as ever before?
Shame. I thought it was just for me because every mistake I've made, I alone, but everything that involved me has an impact on my family, and they are the biggest casualties of the shame that I make.
I never saw it coming until I saw them crying and begging to change, but I still chose the selfish temporary happiness.
Little did I know pain is the result of all the disgusting, shameful that I've done,
I ended up regretting anything that I did and ruined my happy family, selfish temporary happiness that I thought would end be total happiness, but all I gained was pain and regrets.
Now, I will choose my happiness, which is my family and gain again their love and trust for me to continue the life that has been stopped for a while.
Life has always a second chance for us to restart, re-fix and re-focus on the things that will give us full-time happiness.
Thank you for reading up until now; I hope you choose your full-time happiness and not selfish temporary happiness; thank you and have a peaceful and happy day.