I lost my very close uncle yesterday, and it was rally devasvastating, no death till now has actually touched me emotionally like this one. I remeber the call from my brothers wife, i picked up and the the first thing she asked was "have you heard?" and of course I said "No" and that was when she revealed that my uncle was no more. I left my workplace and rushed to pick my other uncle on the instruction of my dad and we went to my dead uncles house. I walked into that room determined to be the pillar and to be strong, I thought I could hold it all in, that I could maintain my composure but then I watched him lying there, his body covered in the cloth, lifeless and the first thing that hit me was the sheer humility of it all. This was a man who, in his prime, was a force of nature who commanded every room he walked into. To see that fire reduced to his frail physical body was saddening, he went throug alot before he died, he lost his sight, he couldnt even walk anymore nor could he eat or even talk. Nobody wanted to say it but at that time we were all just waiting for the inevitable.
I was doing fine or at least I told myself I was, until I looked across the room and saw my other uncle whom i drove there and suddenly I saw him burst into tears, the dam I had built around my own heart just disintegrated. I couldn't hold it anymore. I burst into silent tears right there, the weight of the loss finally catching up to me. Even during the last rites, as the prayers were being whispered and the finality of the moment set in, the tears wouldn't stop. I dont think ive ever cried so much at anybodys death like i did his.
That experience changed my perspective on the headlines I see every day. It’s easy to scroll past news of Palestine, Ukraine, or Sudan and see the rising death tolls as just statistics on a screen. But standing over my uncle made me realize that every single "number" in those conflicts is someone’s fierce, strong, and beloved uncle or relative. They are brothers, fathers, and mentors who held the same weight in their families as my uncle did in mine, for some even more. It is a sickening realization that while we are breaking down over the loss of one man, there are evil people/politicians who look at thousands of these lives and see only pawns or collateral. To them, these people are distant and replaceable because they aren't close enough to feel the heat of the grief.
Death as they say is the ultimate equalizer, the most humbling force in existence. It doesn't care about your tax rates or your status in a social circle. You come with nothing and will leave with nothing. It reminds us that we are all fragile. Seeing someone so strong become so helpless in the end makes you want to live more loudly, to speak your truth while you still have breath and to never let the opinion of others shape you. We owe it to ourselves to live a good life, so that when we are gone good things will be said about us. I cant imagine dying and all people will say is "good riddance" or people say bad things about you, instead of grief, people are happy you are gone.
I pray we all have a peaceful and fulfilled ending.