My coffee arrived, he slid onto the table with a smile, paused for a moment, smiled again then went back inside the cafe. I'd already looked away, but noticed him stop briefly at the entrance and look back my way. I purposely didn't look over.
I sat there enjoying some quiet time, I chose this particular cafe at the city-fringe knowing it would be less populated, so quieter, and that's what I needed; quiet time to myself after a long week and few hours of shopping on Saturday morning. Weekends are for relaxation after all.
Minutes later he came back, smiling again and asked, how's your coffee?
I smiled back and answered to which he replied, I'm glad you like it, and can I get you anything else? He walked away after I assured him I had everything I needed and, once more, he paused at the door looking my way, this time for a bit longer. I felt a little uncomfortable that second time.
I took this image
I try to maintain a low profile when I'm out alone, not attract any attention. I don't dress provocatively, make unnecessary eye contact and when interacting with others am careful to ensure my body language and dialogue is generic. I don't want people getting the wrong impression, and don't need or want the attention...but it happens sometimes; I suppose that's part of being a woman, and men will be men.
I don't mean to indicate men are on the prowl all the time, or bad, but they have a way of looking at women sometimes, making it overtly obvious they're interested in, or attracted to, a woman and it can make me feel uncomfortable; some of my friends say the same. They're just being men, are built built that way I suppose, and most are harmless, but I wonder if they know how they make women feel when they undress us with their eyes and make no attempt to hide it.
I could tell the man from the cafe was trying to be nice and he made it clear he liked what he saw. I don't know, maybe he wanted to have coffee with me, maybe not but it wasn't long before I left the cafe. His constant glances through the window at me accelerated my decision to leave and I felt instantly better not being under his gaze and appraisal.
When I'm with my guy this sort of thing doesn't often happen, not in this overt manner anyway; if it does and he sees it he knows how to deal with it. He's my focus and my guy is not one of those whose eye roves about the place looking for pretty girls - he's focused on me. He knows I can take care of myself when I'm out alone, but he worries about my safety, I love that about him, although I feel much safer when he is with me, more comfortable. He can't always be around though, and I'm an independent woman, so I've learned to deal with situations like this in the ways I mention above and I feel better for it.
I think that cafe-guy was harmless, just a guy looking at a girl, and he did nothing wrong. He was polite and I didn't feel threatened by him, but I left anyway, I guess that's another of my strategies, extricating myself from possible situations before they progress too far.
I didn't get my quiet time that day, not in the city anyway. I went home and later that night my guy came home and had coffee with me...and I enjoyed his gaze and appraisal, the only man I need that from.
Becca 💗