Looking and seeing

Looking and seeing doesn't always mean with the eyes; I look inside myself, reflect inwardly, and see many things and my eyes aren't at all involved. The eyes gather so much information from around a person though, and are incredibly important, however I believe that looking and seeing in other ways is just as valuable, maybe even more so, as it can help position us to perceive ourselves and the things around us differently, with passion and excitement and to help us find the attitudes required to gain the greatest return for the investments we make, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially.

In the coming week, my working year will recommence after a few weeks off and I've been reflecting on the holidays, what I did, how I felt and also how I feel going back to work for another year. I've had a really nice time and wrote about what I've been doing in a post recently, here.

It's been relaxing, I needed that, and I've enjoyed the break in routine and the feeling of peace, comfort and solace I've found.

The weather was beautiful, each day was more relaxing than the last and not needing to keep to a schedule gave me a carefree feeling...I shared that with a really lovely human being who understands me, cares for and values me and who helped me relax in ways only he knows how; He's a beautiful man, and life is beautiful with him by my side...but the rest of the year looms, work and the routine, responsibilities, stresses and pressures of everyday life.

I was thinking about it as I reflected today and despite not feeling like heading back into work, I'm ready for it, for the year ahead and what will come.

I'd like to say that 2023 is going to be an amazing year, that it will be filled with happiness and everything good but I can't honestly say so.

I'm sure there will be good aspects to it, but with my mother now terminally ill with cancer and on end of life (palliative) chemotherapy this year is likely to be very difficult. I wrote about it a little while ago, here, and have thought I would do so again however I guess I don't really know how to; The path forward is a predictable one and I don't really have the words right now.

There's other pressures and stressors in addition, we all have them, and sometimes I feel, I should say we feel because my guy is involved, a little...umm...adrift, I guess is a way to describe it, like...life is floating along with no one at the helm. It's not a nice feeling.

Spending time, like the last few weeks, then reflecting upon how they made me feel, the value that seeped into me, provides an anchor-point to some degree, and the understanding that relaxation, a central-point of comfort, emotional peace and happiness, can be found and that's what helps me feel ready for the year ahead. I will hold onto that feeling and grasp any more of it I can manage throughout the year.

It's through looking and seeing what's to come and delving within myself, looking and seeing, that I'm capable of working through what's to come, and that I'll not have to do so alone, that helps me find the courage I need to face tomorrow, the day after and those to follow.

Becca 💗