It’s 17 days now that we’re in the strike. I’ve covered it in some articles, trying to make some sense out of everything – mostly for myself. Writing helps that way. Just as it does right now. I just had a coffee, Lily is playing out side in the garden. I tried to read some posts on PeakD, but my concentration is not there. I got lost on Facebook for 5 minutes after just wanting to check an order. The incapability of resisting doomscroll is another indicator for being exhausted.
We’re in an interesting phase now. There is no movement – yes, the word “paro” means “stop”, and it’s supposed to be a stop for everything. But there’s this one little detail. The Government doesn’t seem to care. The president got his camera footage. He reached all his goals, and easily, playing the hero and creating a common enemy. And now, it doesn’t seem to bother anyone that there’s no free passage on a 30km stripe of the Panamerican Highway, nor into and out of the cities and villages nearby.
Everything stands still.
But only here. The rest of Ecuador is normal, for the most part. And due to that, there is no end in sight. No news. Here a march, there a march, a lot of defamation and people becoming more volatile by the day. Stagnation builds frustration, and that frustration will unload eventually. I remember the statistics from 2020. People being locked inside, everything stagnating – violence shot up. Domestic violence.
It’s the same here.
Neither military nor police are on confrontation at the moment, or so it seems. Not like in the first days, when the it was wanted to provoke images of war in order to declare the movement “terrorists”. That’s done. Now it seems like nobody is even trying. Where does all that anger go? Inward. Into the city. I wrote about it. Luckily, it seems like things are more under control now.
Control by who?
Probably not the individuals. Being able to control our frustrations, and managing that energy into something progressive, is extremely difficult. Even for me. I mean, I’m writing this article, how is that progressive? How is that helping? It’s an escape, yes, a venting, and I’ll feel better afterwards, just after my last long article that took away a lot of anxiety I felt.
Could I do better?
Frustration is still an energy. But it’s so hard to turn it into something really productive. I could garden, dig holes. Get a wheelbarrow and transport sand to the sandbox in the new spot. It would take ages, but do I have anything better to do? Okay, besides organizing. And yes, that’s becoming worse. We got a cylinder of gas for my household, which of course I passed on to the bakery as I have enough electronic devices to do most of the cooking. But we use up to 3 tanks per week, so I’ll have to see where to get more. Then there is food. The markets only open on certain days, certain times.
It feels like nothing.
Like I’m not doing anything. Like I’m exhausted from… from what? Worrying? Maybe. The current situation, the division and lack of dialogue are scary, to be honest. I’m still privileged in my worries, they’re far more elaborate than what most people experiment daily. But everyone worries and suffers on their own level, based on their experiences.
I’ll make a list.
A new one. The one I have is great, but there are many things that I can’t tackle right now because there’s no supply or mobility or whatever. So, I’ll make one with things that I can do. Like getting the restaurant downstairs into Distriator and the HBD system. Yeah. That’s a good idea.
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