Actually it takes time to make a friend and it takes value and trust to keep a friendship, precisely it takes some time to get to know them much, understand their values and compare them to yourself and see if there's a sort of overlap. I know my few friends enough, like their weaknesses, strength, failures and flaws too. I don't force friendship anymore and honestly I limit bonds and I set boundaries.
When I started managing expectations and eliminate that idea of been entitled, I was totally free minded, if I help anyone I don't expect a thing in return, if it's in my capability to render financial support to anyone I will not demand for a refund or expect a return and still call it "a Favour". To some people offering Favour demands a return either in kind or in cash too.
As reducing some expectations is very necessary, it makes me much concentrated on myself, in details I knew the exact persons to give a call if need be and I'm almost a hundred percent they will turn up, they will hardly disappoint me. They really can tell and feel the pain of others genuinely and nit expressing fake love and care. My parents are top in this few list.
It is when you get into trouble, when you're in desperate need or financially unstable the real true colors of the people you call friends. For this reason i have been making sure I don't feel entitled to anyone regardless of if I have help the individual before or not. I mind my business and yet lend a supportive hand if necessary.
My dad went through a lot of emotional heartbreaks because of a lot of people he had help stand on their feet(become independent) but immediately that happens they pretend they we're never helped or taught by someone. This hurts my dad so dearly because if thought a time will come those fellow colleagues he helped in different occasions would remember to reciprocate that same energy if not to him to his children, my dad was disappointed because he's expectations was too high yet forgetting we humans generally are unpredictable and greedy.
I had gotten my own share of emotional heartbreaks ot trauma also, I made a lot of sacrifices at and rendered support in college because I was in a position to do so as a class representative and lecturer closest partner in class, during all these I also involved in a punishable offense because I risked much on a particular student who almost dropped out, I was pardoned and severely cautioned not to repeat it again and due to my close and trusted friendship with one of the highest professor in the faculty the situation was subdued, thanks to him.
But how funny humans can be this said student who I almost got sanctioned for pretend like he wasn't the cause, kept quiet and ghosted me, but I got angry and confronted him, to my greatest surprise he said he never asked me to risk that much for his sake, I almost hit him on the nose, like are you joking?. That was another level of betrayal and to me personally I never understood human being are so dynamics and unpredictable why did I expect so much of positivity from him.
I rose that expectation on him to owe me an apology and show me respect till forever, how unrealistic I was though, this response from him left me emotional messed up and disoriented for a while. So I told myself never to raise my expectation too high on any human being no matter who they are, just for mental health and sanity sake.
Do good and don't expect a return, just move on.
Thanks for reading through.
Images are mine.