For anyone that has bothered to read my posts, you know that I am struggling with coming out of isolation. I had cut myself off from virtually everyone except my wife, two kids, brother, and a cousin.
I am getting back into the swing of things and start working on associating with my local veteran groups and getting back out in public more. However, I want to start touching base with old friends and family again. I am just not sure how to open that door though.
Reflecting on the days gone by and remembering my childhood with cousins and other family members is something I love to do often. I would love to recall those memories with them now that I am getting older. They have families, many of them grandchildren, that I would love to hear about. They have been living lives that I have been missing out on and it pains me to know this.
- Would they want to hear from me?
- Why haven’t they reached out to me?
- Why do I want to reconnect with this person?
These are questions my inner demon often asks me to make me feel uncertain and uncomfortable about reaching out to them. I do know that re-establishing and maintaining relationships is supposed to be an important part of my emotional well-being moving forward. So there is that aspect too.
One fear is that after some time, there may no longer be a connection with them anymore. I may realize we had a short time together and share only a couple of fond memories that have faded with time for us both. That is okay though, because I guess it is just natural for people to just grow apart over time. I wonder if we will still have a strong connection again like we used to have when we were connected regularly before. Will we have grown apart and gone in different directions in life that make us so incompatible that we can no longer stand each other? I hope not.
There is also the possibility they may have similar reasons to me as to why they haven’t reached out and it doesn’t mean they do not want to connect with me and start reflecting on our memories together and even making new ones.
On the other hand, there may be a real connection that is missed with many fond memories. They may also have the same feeling and wish to re-connect as well. They may have been waiting for me all this time and wish to reminisce about old times together as kids running through the woods, or as Marines drinking beers overseas and making fools of ourselves…damn Yanks!
The other thing I ponder on is if I should share with them why I lost touch in the first place. The answer I believe is yes. Recently I have found that being upfront about one’s past is one of the most freeing feelings there is. I think apologizing for losing touch with them would be helpful as well. I do worry though if they will not be responsive and how that will make me feel. It may hurt a little at first, but I should not take it personally because like all of us anymore, they more than likely lead busy lives. There is also an awkwardness that time creates to reconnecting that is hard to explain.
Another issue that concerns me is the divisive nature of social media today, most of my family and old friends I have connections with are on Web2 social media, like Farcebook. Being that it is the nature of social media today that it feeds such divisive behavior, I wonder if I can even reestablish connections with someone if I even have a couple of differences with them. I know years ago those small differences like politics and stuff would not have mattered, but now they can be deal breakers online.
I know I am always willing to listen to different opinions and perspectives, so reestablishing these connections with people on my part should not be a problem. I just hope others feel the same way. I have always found that getting to common ground will be the best way forward with those that seem to struggle with some of my beliefs or stances, so we will see.
The one thing I would like to do is plan to start reaching out to people. I would like to plan to reach out to at least one person per day that I haven’t communicated with in a long time. Maybe making a list, reach out to them via phone, text, Farcebook, or other means. See how things go and let nature take its course. This should be manageable, and even if not, I can always adjust to it. Maybe I can even do more each day, who knows.
I often think about starting to collect some memories and record them for my kids and possibly grandkids in the future. I think reflecting with these friends and family would be a great opportunity to collect these memories for a personal notebook to share with the kids down the road. I would love to create something that would be more of a lasting piece of history for future generations.
Well, I do hope you were patient enough to stay with me thus far through my rambling tonight. I started working on this post in the morning and finally finishing it up tonight for posting tomorrow. By the time you read this, hopefully I have reached out to my first family member or friend and started reflecting on our time together. Maybe I might even share some of those discussions here.
Thanks.
Joe
Note: Image source Canva.com
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