Over the last few days, and after a fairly rocky patch of life, I've been feeling myself a little more than I have over the last several weeks; I don't mean my hands have been feeling the other parts of my body, I mean that I am starting to get back to the normal me, the me before I had a big health hiccup that left me a little out of sorts. The incurable situation will never go away, but I'm beginning to get on top of the ramifications and new realities that have arisen because of it and I'm feeling much better overall, emotionally.

---

---

Last Saturday, I had an early morning doctors appointment - I've had so many lately - then went to the gun range. I was there most of the day, competed against sixty or so other shooters in a run and gun match and was happy with a top five result. It wasn't about being so high on the leader board though, it was about being the right version of myself to get me there. I drove away feeling happy I'd performed at close to the level I expect of myself, which is high, and I took this to mean things are on the right track.

𝒩ℴ𝓉 𝓊𝓃𝒷𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝒶𝒷𝓁ℯ

These past weeks I've been thinking about my age and fallibility (fifty three years if you're wondering), and I believe one of the most difficult things I have to face is the fact I simply can't do the things I used to do in the past. I'm not as strong or fit, take longer to recover and heal from injuries, aches and pains and...I have to take a little more care because I'm more likely to break than bounce like I used to.

I've never been unbreakable but I've operated like I was and mostly got away with it. As I have aged, and with this new reality I'm faced with, I've had to face the realisation that I can break, and when I do it's likely to be catastrophic. That's been the hardest thing to accept I think, emotionally.

I've worked through it in my own time and ways and yesterday, for the first time in many weeks, I actually felt like the me I should be, the one I want to be. I went for a decent hike and found myself in a good personal space, more accepting of my new paradigm and of who I am within it.

𝒯𝒽ℯ 𝓇𝒾𝓈ℯ...𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓃ℯ𝓋𝒾𝓉𝒶𝒷𝓁ℯ 𝒻𝒶𝓁𝓁

Most humans, those whose lives aren't snatched away early, will experience a decline in physical or mental capacity (both most often) and there's nothing that can stop it.

We start out well enough, living life and all its experiences, the rise, but as we age human parts that once were perky sag, faces wrinkle, muscular physiques and shapely bodies change shape, hair is lost, or goes grey and...then there's a myriad of other ailments and illness that can occur as the decline continues.

The rise is splendid, the fall, not so much.

We change emotionally and mentally also and that can be very difficult to deal with [think: A woman dealing with menopause or a person dealing with dementia.] It all seems so unfair but it's the life-cycle of a human being, the rise and fall...and then we just die. But in between is a very precious time and it's in between the begging and the end where we need to focus in my humble opinion.

Even though I am not quite what I used to be I'm still fit and strong and my body is in shape; it's a blessing, although a lot of work goes into eating well, sleeping enough, being active in mind and body and doing the things that keep me generally on the right track. Inside me there's a few issues that have no cure but I'm strong in the mind (fortunately) and am able to work through the thoughts and feelings that creep in and inhibit me from time to time. Today I awoke feeling myself for the first time in a little while and it felt good...I'm good to fucken go.

---

I believe it's important to remind oneself that life will come to an end eventually and that the decline may not be very pleasant. If a person acknowledges that I believe they're more likely to think up some ways, and mindsets that help them get the best out of each moment, the days and hours that make up a person's life - It's worked for me.

Younger people tend to think life will continue on in the same way indefinitely; it's a comfortable thought and I've been there myself, but those who have lived a few years know it's simply not the case.

With this in mind I wonder what your thoughts on it might be...Where are you on that life-journey and if you're young how do you think you'll handle the changes that will surely come? If you're older, how have you handled the passage of time and the changes its wrought? Have you had any major situations along the way and if so, how have they impacted on your thoughts l, attitudes and actions moving forward? Feel free to comment below, I'm interested to learn about the experiences others have had.