Pushing buttons

Over the years, (I'm 167 years old so there's been many), I've had my buttons pushed more times than I can count - I mean people trying to unsettle, destabilise or hurt me for whatever reason. It's worked at times, there's things that people can say or do that cause me to react in various ways but these ways don't often go well for the button-pusher. There's less buttons these days, or maybe I am more adept at hiding what they are, so it doesn't happen as often however it still happens from time to time and last week it occurred...and I reacted predictably and in the only way I know how in response to that particular thing in that particular setting.

I've lived my life stringently to a code of honour and integrity (as I see them) and while I've not always been my best version (I'm human after all) those two things, upholding them, mean a lot - I wouldn't be true to myself if I compromised and so I do not. Maybe that's why people feel they can push my buttons in various ways and while they may see something to gain they often don't get the reaction or result they envisage.

I tend not to get rattled when people do it although I certainly get annoyed and despite usually not wanting it to show it's sometimes quite plain to see. People push buttons to gain an advantage in negotiations, whether business or personal, as a way to destabilise or hurt the other person - it's actually a very effective tool when interrogating someone - and it's on those occasions when it's vitally important not to let the annoyance show no matter how upset, rattled or destabilised one may be. It was this situation that occurred last week in a business setting and I'm pleased to say I didn't have to kill anyone I mastered my reactions and performed as I had initially wanted to; the result was positive.

I've reacted badly at times as most probably have and I think that's normal - it's ok to be human and not perfect (because perfection doesn't exist) - and we learn from those occasions, or should.

On the plane flying home from that meeting I was thinking about how the individuals in that boardroom sought to destabilise me taking what they thought they knew about me and my organisation and twisting it out of shape and I thought about how I'd handled it: Was I professional, did I get my message across, did I seek to bridge the relationship-gaps, show value, leave a positive impression, did I influence them as required, build layers of value and a a roadmap to move forward? I think so, to lesser and greater degrees I suppose, but I certainly felt happy with the way I dealt with the scenario and I think moving forward, having weathered that 'storm' as I did, it will go a long way to building a good relationship.

Pushing people's buttons can be a very effective way to gain desired results and is a useful tool at times; it can also be a very hurtful thing (for the button-pusher, button-pushee or both) and I think it needs to be used with caution lest the result be less than desirable; there's a time and place I guess and if doing it one needs to accept that it may backfire.

How do you react when people push your buttons, seek to destabilise or unsettle you in either a business or personal setting? Do you take the bait, stand your ground, retaliate? I've done all three over the years depending on the situation, you? Have you used butting-pushing to your advantage? Feel free to tell me your experiences as I believe everyone has had their buttons pushed at some stage, or done it themselves.