I think I've always been half out of my shell and half in. Sometimes I can be extremely wild and sometimes I can be extremely shy. It just depends on the day.
- Emile Hirsch -
Who are you?
I don't expect an answer; it's just a question I believe each of us should ask ourselves from time to time, and then take the time to investigate, evaluate and determine an actual (truthful) answer.
As humans, the individuals we present to outward appearances can vary drastically depending on who we interact with, where we are located, and in what stage of our lives we're in. A military drill sergeant will present in a particular way when on the parade ground with his/her troops and in a completely different way when with his/her young children for example; same person, different behaviours. I think that's the same for most of us when at work compared to home, with our friends opposed to family, or when amongst strangers. But we're not actually different people at all, generally; we're always just us; just a different version adapted to the situation at hand.
I was thinking about this today after I received a call from someone who gave me interesting, and somewhat surprising, information about someone else we both know.
The person had always presented in a particular manner: Brusque, domineering, arrogant, insensitive, intolerant and other such negative things. He seemed quite in control of himself, switched on and overall-confident also which came across as hubris and ego.
I'd suspected some of those traits came from a strong lack of self-esteem and self-respect however had remained silent as I wasn't sure...it turns out the person has mental health issues and that confirms what I'd expected completely. It was a surprise to hear the person had resigned from his, rather senior, position with the company citing mental health issues and whilst I believe there to be some machinations in the background I gave it the benefit of the doubt because I can't confirm the truth. It explained some of the reprehensible behaviours and actions taken but I think doesn't necessarily excuse them.
It led me to wonder about this situation though, the way we present ourselves to others in various ways depending on where we are and who we're with at any given point, and also the particular time of our lives too.
A young person may seek to demonstrate his or her intelligence or competence to older people even though they may have neither. A person online may wish to present themselves as together and at the top of their game however may be down-and-out and struggling. An individual may wish to present as happy and content, but in truth is in an abusive and unhappy relationship...we play parts I guess I'm trying to say.
In thinking about that chap above, I wonder how he felt and feels within the confines of his own mind, (none too good I'd say), and how that affected his behaviours and decisions in the outside world. Did he make better ones or worse? Well, I know for a fact he made some terrible ones in the workplace at least, decisions that impacted upon other people's lives profoundly. And what about in his relationship, with his kids, friends or greater family? We'll never know of course, and if I'm honest I don't care too much about that individual - I don't like people hiding behind excuses for their reprehensible behaviours. I guess I just wonder how many of us are our true selves most often and what that true self actually looks like when perceived by oneself.
Have you had personal experiences with people's different versions that have caused turmoil and upheaval in your own life? Have you been one such person - someone who made decisions incorrectly due to your own attitudes, prejudices or agendas? Do you feel like you present as your true version most of the time and if not, how do the different versions of yourself all get along within you? How does that impact your life generally and your relationships and interactions? How do you know when to be which? Feel free to comment on these things, or anything else the words in this post may cause you to think or feel - I always respond.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default; tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind - galenkp
[All original and proudly AI free.]
Any images in this post are my own and are not for your use.