This is gonna be kind of controversial or not depending on who reads it but nonetheless here goes.
Im gonna start by saying that in most cases if the woman wants to keep the baby, she can. I believe that is her right, but then again i am of the opinion that she has no right to force a man to obligations especially when he has already made it clear in the first place. As far as I know, some places even imprison men for failing to pay mandatory child support. Worse, he still has that debt even after he is released. This seems counterproductive to me. This makes it even harder for him to pay up, especillay while locked up. Some make it sound like a woman gets pregnant and is “left abandoned” . This ignores that she made a decision to have that baby alone. It was her choice. She wasn't stuck. She willingly chose that path. She wants to keep the baby? Okay. SHE wants it, she should fund it herself. He isn't abandoning her. But she can't afford it without child support? That's using the guy to fund her wants. It punishes men while giving women an out. Some women selfishly plan to keep babies while clearly intending to use child support laws to chase the father and slap him with a huge bill that will span 18 years. It allows women to even trick men by lying about birth control. People understand that a woman may not be emotionally or financially ready to parent. The man is called a loser/asshole etc for feeling that same exact way. Do you think that is fair? I'm not ready. I'm too young. I'm not emotionally stable. I'm not financially stable. A woman saying these things gets sympathy. A man does not. He is condemned and told he knows better.
Some scenarios: Man wants the baby, woman wants too equals too Happy family hopefully. Man wants the baby, woman does not. Woman gets an abortion. Man has no say. Man wants the baby, woman does not. Woman agrees to give birth to the baby but that’s it. Man eventually gets to be a single dad to the child. Man does not want the baby, woman does not want too. Everyone should have access to a safe and legal abortion (but this is a different topic). Man does not want the baby, woman wants. Woman gives birth. Man doesn’t mind paying child support. Good, he can urge her to seek an abortion, but ultimately that decision is hers to make. Should she decide to continue the pregnancy and raise the child, and should she or our government attempt to establish him as the legal father, he can be stuck with years of child support payments. One can demand equal rights, and still believe that a system that penalizes men so harshly. By insisting that a man pay hundreds of thousands of dollars over a lifetime for a one-night stand and a broken condom, you are not indicating that you’re considering his plight at all. “However, just as court-ordered child support does not make sense when a woman goes to a sperm bank and obtains sperm from a donor who has not agreed to father the resulting child, it does not make sense when a woman is impregnated (accidentally or possibly by her choice) from sex with a partner who has not agreed to father a child with her.
In consenting to sex, neither a man nor a woman gives consent to become a parent, just as in consenting to any activity, one does not consent to yield to all the accidental outcomes that might flow from that activity.” In modern society, not only can women work and be independent, but they have full control about their reproductive rights. They have the right to use contraception. So, if impregnation haven't to force any woman to Motherhood, why on earth should it force any man to Fatherhood ? Men SHOULD HAVE reproductive rights. To the woman, if you want to keep the baby, and he doesn’t and you do not have the financial capabilities to raise the child when, then YOU FIND A WAY on your own. You find a better work or lay off some luxuries to prioritize needs.
While I am neither a mom or single mom, I do know single moms who were able to raise a well-bred well-mannered child on their own. Some relying only on what their earn at work, some with help from family. But some of these women did not demand a cent from the baby’s father. Even though we do also have “child support laws here”, these women never bothered to report or complain so everyone went with their business. These strong independent women managed to raise and care for their child with nothing from the biological father, except providing half the DNA. To the man, if you want the baby, but the woman does not, deal with it. You can not force her to to go through pregnancy and give birth because you want THAT BABY. If you can not accept it, then break up with her and find another woman who wants to have a baby with you. And if she does agree to give birth to the baby, but give it to you after giving birth for you to raise on your own, and you do not have the financial capabilities to raise the child when, then YOU FIND A WAY on your own.
And again I dislike all these remarks about the” benefit of the child”. We fully accept single parent families, divorce and remarriage. Both of these would be preferred over raising a child in an 18 year long custody battle or with one parent resenting them, or being denied the psychological comfort of not be reminded monthly that someone didn’t want them, or issued out with someone else. And also for the men who don’t want a baby, they should practice abstinence. For men who are willing to have sex, they better live up to the possible consequences.
P.S Some people might misunderstand. I am not asking for Child Support Laws to be removed and that men should be able to bail out ANYTIME. I also know there are some situations that the man should be paying child support. My point is though, right now, just because he is identified as the father in a paternity test, then the woman can demand child support and he has no say, regardless of the circumstances.