Something has dawned on me, like I believed for a long time that love was not enough. I thought if two people truly cared, everything else would somehow fall in place. But money issues would eventually not become a problem, bad habits would continue to fade. Everything would just align as normal.
But love, as I assumed, was all that it takes to cover all the good deeds. But at last I was wrong. What I began to realize is that many relationships faced today don't fail because the whole love disappears. What really was the issue, the cause of the problem is love is asked to carry too much weight.
Love is very powerful, but it's not practical. It doesn't tend to manage any finances. It doesn't tend to protect any health. It doesn't tend to build any career. It doesn't create any personal boundaries. People do. I have been in a situation and seen how when we ignore things slowly, it poisons our deepest affection.
When one person is just careless financially, it seems that the other becomes so also. When one person neglects, one person does it, then the others start to worry silently. When work feels so dreaded that they are in resentment and this is where the problem lies. Where there is no space to be alone, to heal, to improve yourself, to walk on your own. To manage your flaws.
In this kind of situation, being pragmatic doesn't just mean being cool, being reactive and not being too much. Being pragmatist does not mean just being cool. Being a person who is to manage yourself. Being a person who is to manage your flaws.
You can't fall in love with someone who refuse to take care of their self or be better also. That is not love, that is you acting as a sacrificial lamb without being wise. I've learned this kind of situation that if I truly love
someone I should be able to protect them and make them see reality for what it is. I should give them room to improve themselves, to be responsible for themselves.
Sometimes we have to set boundaries, we have to put self-respect first. Sometimes we have to make uncomfortable conversations, even if it means trying to walk away from what does not seem okay. Love is not just about being blind to all the flaws and everything, it's about time to just see clearly and just, we just need not to choose. Now I'll choose the right one, the one who can do it.
