I am done.
Not out of love nor forgiveness. Just because I am sick of filling my head with other peoples crap.
Stubbornness.
Maybe that’s the way I have to take it. In the end, that is, what brought me so far in life.
Stubbornness for everyone who told me it wouldn’t work, everyone that said it wasn’t possible, and everyone who decided to throw stones at me instead of building a bridge.
I am done with this.
Why do we make kids, just to teach them how to hurt others? Why do we need to force people to do things they don’t like, just so they can screw up the life of someone else later? Why walking over others or ourselves instead to respecting each other?
What I need to stop is trying to find an answer to these questions. Because there is none. Maybe one, a very unsatisfying one, “That’s just how it is.”
There is so much beauty, when I am choosing by myself, without the expectations of others. I notice all the plants growing around, every petal of a flower bares endless patterns to get lost in. The sound of a bee getting drunk on the same smell and one of my Wasps paying me a visit, her long legs follow her like a cape, I take her with me, she can stay.
When I am by myself everything turns out the right way, not easy not always comfortable, but in the right way.
The rain on my face when I know I’ll sleep in a dry place tonight. And just as I start to pay attention to these details strangers start to smile, birds sing, I get that one idea I was looking for.
Four petals when I wasn’t looking for them and a random stranger payed for my coffee when we barely said hello and goodbye.
Random?
Absurd, violent and beautiful.
It does work, it is possible and we can choose love over destruction at any stage of a life. There are the people who do and the ones who don’t, maybe that is the only answer to my questions.
And maybe sometimes it is as easy as just turning away from the sadness and towards beauty.
What about you, what keeps you sane and happy in this violent and beautiful world?
Thank you for passing by and have a lovely Sunday!
All photos and words are owned by ©kesityu taken and written by myself.