The few things that distinguish us humans from other animals are our thumb and our capacity to think. Our thumb is a pretty cool tool to grab things. Meanwhile our ability to think gets us in trouble as much as out off.
Does a tree ask when it’s time to stop growing?
As far as I know they don’t. They just grow, higher and higher. They never stop. Even if you put barriers in their ways they grow around. And when storms snap away their branches, they grow new ones.
Only us humans keep on asking whether we should push our limits and grow towards our full potential. Or just stay the same, keep warm and comfortable, and just eat the cookie.
Does our thinking help? Or is it thinking all together, that prevents us from growing?
Since six years I am getting excited about winter approaching. Surely because I love every change of seasons and because there is something very magical about whole landscapes covered in snow. The quiet of the earth when everything is frozen and asleep. When I stand outside in the dark and hear nothing but the subtle rustling of tiny snowflakes touching the ground. When everything is dark and I can go to bed at 8pm. without feeling I’ll miss out on anything. Falling asleep to the shadow dances my plants perform in the light of a single candle.
Meanwhile the thing I am most excited about is: swimming in the frozen lakes. Standing in the water surrounded by ice. When the rays of sunshine pierce through frozen pine-trees, their light reflecting on the surface of the water.
In these moments there is no more separation between me and everything else. The cold around my body forces me to be part of it. Surrender into the nature, I forgot that I was made of. Nothing exists but this moment. My thoughts are calm, the headache disappears and my vision is clear again.
And yet, my brain tries to talk me out of it. Every single time. Even though I know I am doing the right thing. My thinking tries to sabotage my will to grow.
Just writing about it now is getting me excited to go back to my favourite little lake behind the mountain, later today. And yet I know, once I’ll approach the spot, my brain will start resisting. “Why this time? Don’t I rather drink some coffee…? Maybe it’s dangerous, I think I didn’t eat enough… I can have a break, just a walk around the lake is enough… It’s quite windy today… Don’t do it!!!”
Since six years I am consistently swimming in cold water. Which has helped me so much with difficult times in my life, has thought me lots about myself and has really changed my life for the better. And yet I never get used to it. Every time I need to overcome the same voices in my head opting for comfort instead of growth. Every time my thinking is trying to talk me out of what I am inevitably going to do. “Didn’t you learn by now, that resisting won’t work?” I ask myself. As I take of one layer of clothes after the other. Making clear to myself, that even though it sucks to expose myself to the cold right now, this is the right thing to do.
Thinking can’t just be bad though.
Because as much as my own thinking prevents me from growing. It is also my thoughts that push me to reach out for my full potential and overcome the obstacles.
Condemning my thinking ability as good or bad, would be too easy. It’s neither and both. It is up to me to figure out which part of my thoughts are constructive for the life I want to life. And which parts I have to overlook and shut up. It is on myself to know whether it is my Ego that is trying to talk me into something. Or if it is the part of me that genuinely wants the best for me and my future self.
How do I know which part of myself I can trust?
There are many situations in which I’d love to know. How many times do I stand in front of a decision and wonder which part of myself is talking. Is it me who goes into the cold water regardless? Or is it the part of me who tries to talk me out of it, that is speaking?
Even if swimming in the cold didn’t get easier in all these years. It does make me know my thoughts better. It does teach me to distinguish between "Ego" and "Growing-Self". And it does make me realise that my thoughts can be both; pushing and holding me back.
It still sucks to do the right thing and yet with practice I learn to embrace the hard part.
How do you make sure you are opting for growth instead of comfort?
Thanks for stopping by, have a lovely Thursday!
All photos and words are owned by ©kesityu taken and written by myself.