In the morning I wake up in a thick soup of fog. My sleeping bag is drenched wet and I can not see further than I reach with my arm.
I had slept alright, actually really good considering that I had been sleeping on the roots of a tree. Thanks to myself being too lazy to inflate my mattress in the evening. “How does that make sense?” I had been wondering while I tried to fall asleep. “I am too lazy to pack out one more thing. It would have taken about two minutes plus another three to pack it up in the morning. Instead, I accept 10 hours of discomfort in my sleep?”
5 minutes of effort versus 10 hours of discomfort. I guess that's how irrational our human thinking capacities can go sometimes.
(the view on my camping-spot the evening before)
My thinking capacities generate more helpful thoughts. I am there alone in the middle of nowhere at the edge of the forest, wrapped into my sleeping bag. All of a sudden I can hear a car and see some lights. That’s it for me, I am wide awake. “Are they coming here? Will they see me? What’s their business at night in the middle of the forest?”
The Car does his own business and disappears into the forest. I thought of something else and almost fell asleep when the next car showed up. Same scenario. I almost prepare to pack up and leave.
It is only about 7pm. Of course people are still driving around. Can I expect everyone to stay at home, just because it would scare me less?
“What keeps me awake is only my fear.” my mind starts to reason, “But there is no actual threat. No one will come here, no one can see me. All I have to do is fall asleep and my fears will be gone.”
It sounds as simple as it is and still it works. I fall asleep. I wake up occasionally during the night. It's only because of the hard roots of the tree pushing into my back. The fears had left.
My hopes for a sunny breakfast on that mountain got disappointed. Nothing but fog, so I have to imagine the view.
Still I drink two coffees and eat the same bread, peanut butter and dates as the day before. Rather content with myself about how cozy I have it here regardless of all the wet and Gray around me.
The wet and Gray only starts to get me somewhere later. When I pass some creepy forests and a depressing town. It’s really cold and I have no idea where I’ll sleep that night.
Eventually I have a break at a deserted bus station. I eat some chocolate and promise myself to not forget how this feels like. I am cold, wet inside and out, no where to go, exhausted, pretty much homeless, lost, in an uninviting place. I know I’ll do it again anyway, I just want to make sure I remember what it feels like.
It is an interesting state I am in. My situation feels unbearably uncomfortable and at the same time I completely accept it. I want to get out. And at the same time I know I have to and will inevitably get through it.
As I pedal on I pass through an enchanted forest. The red leaves shine through the fog. Little barns emerge in the hills and birch trees along the way. And for a moment I wonder if I should sleep in one of these. But everything is wet, I have almost no more drinking water and it is only around 2pm.
Eventually I pass a couple cutting mistletoe's from an almost dead tree. I am tired and don’t really want to push much further. So I decide to stop and ask them if they have an idea where I can sleep that night. “Yes we do!” is their answer. Because Uschi and Hans themselves take up pilgrims in their home. They invite me to their place.
My feet are warm and clean as I sit around a heavy wooden table eating bred again. Everything tastes even better with a beer and conversations with Uschi and Hans. We talk about life and travels. And I know again, that I am not the only one doing this. The fire crackles in the background.
Thank you for passing by, enjoy your week!
All photos and words are owned by ©kesityu taken and written by myself.