Drained down to the last drop.
I slept exacly an hour last night and then I had students tfrom 9 am to 4:30. Thank god my 5 and 7 pm cancelled. But then I met with a friend to show him my favorite area on the other side of the city from where I live, closer to him so he has a place to play.
Instead I went to my two favorite shops to say hi. One guy seemed happy to see me and we talked for a little while he did some work on the shop. He was closed for the day so I couldn’t order anything but he let us hang out while he built a bench.
I would have offered to help but I was beyond exhausted.
We went to the other shop where I was treated like a total stranger and I realized, you can’t disappear for 5 years and expect a shop owner with tons of customers to remember you. Makes sense. But we became friends again for the 3rd time 😆 I guess our personalities are a good match but we’ve both got too much going on and not enough time together to become close. Very cool guy though.
It got me thinking about getting more involved in that neighborhood. It’s a trek from where I live, about 1 hour on one of the most crowded trains, plus a 15 minute walk from the station, but every time I go I feel it’s worth it.
I hope I have the enegy to stop buy regularly on the 5-6 days a month when I have classed on that side of the city. Not only would it be good for me since I am starting to play music again and there may be some opprtunities, but I genuinely friggin like the people there.
I realize why it felt so important for me to build a base of operations. I am interested in many things and many places and I love to explore to find more. Without a base, it’s easy to float around and not get invested in any of them.
I think I want to make this my secondary base. I like where I am at too much now to leave, and yet neither of these feel like home.
I always have a feeling I will end up in Kansai one day, probably Osaka or close to it but I don’t have many strong connections there other than a friend who just moves there snd some old friends I haven’t seen for 13 years. Let’s see if they remember me 😆 13 years is a long time.
And so I am making plans to visit Osaka and scope it out with the hopes of finding a way to stay there longer on a low budget. A place where I can have shows or open a pop up shop to earn some money for the trip, that or a free place to stay.
I’ve learned my lesson though. I will no longer expect my relationships to survive a decade without any contact in between. I am the kind of person who knows when they vibe with someone very quickly 4 times outnof 5 and never forgets them adter that. Of course people change but if the point we connected on doesn’t change, I am a cactus, I don’t need much watering to maintain my connection with that person.
Not everyone is like that. Some people require more time to figure out if you are worth remembering. Some people give up on the relationship after a long enough absense. Some people just need a little hello everyone year or two.
I’ve decided to make an effort to maintain any relationship I value even when I don’t need any attention from them to feel connected. Just in case. It makes people feel good too, to know someone is thinking of them.
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Bad Dreams
