Sefishly enjoying the weather that’s way more comfortable than it should be in late November. Could the wind and sunshine feel any better today?
Trying to manage the gap between where I want to be and where I am, appreciating what is and letting it be as it is, while still moving in the direction of where I want to be.
Life is making it effortless for me, showing me where to step before I step, letting me know when I am in over my head. It isn’t always gentle but it always leads me in the direction my heart is most honed in on.
I’ve let go of so much anger and frustration, integrated so much shadow. I still feel the same things I used to towards the things I felt those toward but I recognize how much power I let them have over me by giving them attention they weren’t asking for.
They only needed enough attention to process. “To dwell” is the crux of what was unneeded. I see something I don’t like and I register it and see the direction it may be moving and don’t deny that. I recognize my fears and displeasures about it. I face the worse scenario. Then I bring myself back to what’s fun and exciting.
That’s how to live.
I got a little too ambitious, trying to achieve too much on the outside and forgetting how important the inside is.
Life presented me with new friends, so I prioritized getting to know them and expressed interest in collaborating with them and we made it so.
I booked a venue for the middle of next month and felt in way over my head because I hadn’t practiced enough or conceptualized the event fully. I don’t want to just play my songs, I want to create an evening. My art isn’t just the music but the whole experience, and I don’t want it to be pretentious either. Casual and natural, but powerful.
Once you set the date you gotta do everything you can.
There were only 2 days available in December, one in the middle and one in the end. I chose the earlier one because I wanted to put a little pressure on mysef to really double down and make progress these coming weeks.
In the past week, I have refined one of my new songs and written up the concept for this event and even started planning for next time in Jamuary or February.
I made a poster and did promotion too.
Without realizing it, I have been training to be an event organizer, which is something I dreamed of for years but was waiting for the right circumstances, building a concept and facing my fears over first.
I dreamed too big and didn’t realize how doable it would be if I just put aside the future dreams of bringing together artists I aready from different continents and helping my friends navigate the world easier.
This is the first time I’ve been the main person responsible for promoting a show that involved an artist other than myself. It’s the second time I’ve designed a poster for my event and the first I am turning it into a regular series with a concrete theme.
I will spare the details for now but the overal theme is practicing freedom through art and breaking out of patterns.
Everything up until this point has led me here.
If I hadn’t quit music for a time, I wouldn’t have rediscovered a more free flowing style.
If I hadn’t tried to make a YouTube channel, I would never have learned to design images and how social media works for promoting an event.
If I had not spent 3 months drilling scales this summer, I would not have been ready to jam, and half of this event will be improvised.
If I had not lived in the other side of the city for a year, struggling to find a place for myself, I wouldn’t have found this other community to connect with, I discovered them right before I moved.
Each experience weaves together when I express my will as best I can and follow the flow to navigate when and where and how to move.
All things (good and bad) considered, I couldn’t be more excited!
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My music:
