I noticed something quite curious some time ago, that sometimes we don't need to say a single word for people to know exactly how we feel. Because our gestures, posture, and appearance are like a secret and unambiguous language that speaks for us without us meaning it to. For those who are skeptical, I'll say that this happens in countless situations, but let's imagine that one day we're at a party, surrounded by people, and we're slouching, with our arms crossed and avoiding eye contact. Everyone will probably sense that we don't feel very comfortable, right? This is the art of what we call nonverbal communication.
Gestures: Unmistakable tell-tales to be wary of
It is necessary to talk more in depth about gestures when dealing with this topic. Every movement we make can convey a great deal of information, so much so that we may be unable to fully understand it. Because if you are talking to someone and you are constantly touching your hair, this can be interpreted as nervousness or insecurity. This can lead the other person to infer many things: that you are lying, or that you don't like talking about the subject, or that you don't like them. Many other conclusions could also be drawn, but these are some of the most common ones that people come to in these situations.
In addition, if you gesture with your hands while speaking, you may be showing enthusiasm, confidence, and determination. But if you gesture too much, it can also be interpreted as nervousness; or that you are trying to hide something, or that you are trying to distract the other person with your hand movements so that they don't pay much attention to what you are saying.
I give even greater importance to the issue of gesturing a lot with your hands. Because when I talk to someone who gestures too much with their hands, I can't help but feel stressed, because I feel like the other person is trying to subliminally put their ideas into my head. It's easy to see that if you try to pay attention to someone's words while they are compulsively moving their hands in front of you, in gestures that seem to want to generate empathy but actually generate distraction, it is more difficult for the brain of the person receiving the message to reject the other person's idea or analyze it clearly. We have arrived at the supreme science mastered by demagogues and politicians.
Putting that aside, it's fascinating how our hands can say so much! A simple thumbs up can indicate support or approval, while a clenched fist could suggest frustration or anger. But every gesture, whether good or bad, has its positive and negative sides depending on how it is used.
Posture and appearance in this game
Posture also plays a crucial role in how others perceive us. Let's not deny that an open posture, with shoulders back and head held high, is often associated with confidence and self-assurance. On the positive side, if you walk into a room with this attitude, people will probably be drawn to you because you project positive energy. On the negative side, if you overdo this posture and don't adapt it empathetically to the situation or person, and accompany it with words that denote overconfidence, you may be perceived as arrogant.
On the other hand, a hunched or closed posture can make you appear disinterested or even sad or unempathetic.
The bottom line is that our emotions often affect our posture without us realizing it, and that can influence how we interact with the world. So regardless of our emotional state, we would do well to be mindful not to project what we don't want or need to project onto others.
But we can't forget about appearance either. Because although we tend to think that clothes are just that—clothes—they actually say a lot about our personality and how we feel at any given moment. Dressing up for a special occasion can make you feel more confident, while a sloppy outfit can reflect that you haven't had the time or desire to take care of yourself. The care or lack of care we put into our personal appearance denotes the level of our self-esteem and whether we feel happy or depressed for some reason.
Appearance greatly influences the first impression we make on someone, because it is loaded with information. From the choice of colors in our clothes to the style, everything speaks or conveys a narrative. And that's not even mentioning makeup or hairstyles in women's cases! Everything influences the perception of others; everything is part of the message we send to the world.
So, at last our actions, posture, and physical appearance speak volumes about us, more than any words we might utter. So the next time you find yourself in a social situation, pay attention not only to what you say, but also to how you say it. Remember, your body is speaking, and it may be telling a completely different story than the one you are trying to communicate. The next time you look in the mirror, think about the message you want to send; remember that, although words are important, sometimes it is gestures that really leave a lasting impression.
